Open Poetry #23 |
Aeonian Rondo |
RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Quite freely she admits she counts the days and finds misspent the time that doubt mislay an ember too long dormant now ablaze yet muted in her subtle Monet way. As ancients sought distraction in the stars, aligned the night to justify events, la vie entre pas doucement dans cette bon soir* and so explain life's pain and consequence. And he a trap'd monk by webs entombed where fissures snear and smirk on ceiling, wall, lay still and wonder could her love exhume the faint and flick'ring hope in his withdrawal. Would time erode the footprints of romance in shifting sands through wasp-waist hourglass? Is she the one to summon him to dance or rob a grave that's best left untrespassed? What then if as in Shakespere love's star-crossed, despite all best intentions leads to tears or worse it's true that paradise was lost it's curse, love's seed's e'er planted in our fears? Of course they'll meet, they must for in the end when warmth and passion flow from the bloodstream they would at least those moments have transcend the dark, the night, the stars and known a dream. . . *Poetic license on the translation "life goes not gently into that good night", which were it literal should have ended bonne nuit but the term for good evening better suited the purpose of the rhyme. "Happy people have no history" - French Proverb |
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© Copyright 2002 Richard S. Wells jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
I enjoyed this And don’t worry about the poetic license I’ve been writing for decades without a license Gloom |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
RSWells A stream that rushes down the mountain side to form a sigh in my eye. Excellent write. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
..."and known a dream"... How beautiful this entire poem is! Enjoyed greatly. Warm regards, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (12-05-2002 09:46 AM).] |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
As usual, Richard, you manage to touch places that are rarely touched, and you silently leave the reader to say, "I wish this were a book, so that I might leave my marker here..." Thank you, good poet. Bonne Nuit. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
A classic piece of writing from one of the classiest writers that I have ever had the pleasure of reading. J'espere que tout votres nuits sera douces! (Excuse my poor highschool French, but what I am trying to say is, " I hope that all your nights will be soft".----oh, dear, that doesn't sound right either! tehe EA |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
I enjoyed this much, very well done indeed. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Richard Your writing is emaculate and lush. A pleasure to read and understand. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
well done my friend... a joy to read and explore.. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Yes, Richard, your work is always a pleasure to read and leaves the reader with many thoughts to ponder. You really are a classical writer. Have you ever wrote a novel? If not, you really should, you know. You could write a wonderful novel about Knights and their Ladies, Sir, and I'm sure it would be a best-seller. Thank you for sharing your wonderful art with us. "Love makes the world go around" |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Some happy people do have history by the way [This message has been edited by Mysteria (12-06-2002 05:14 AM).] |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
LOL, I must have hit the wrong button I already commented on this earlier. Richard, or Monsier Smartie Pants, as I have dubbed you my friend, this was an exceptional piece. Please try reading this one somewhere and I bet the responses would be wonderful! I agree, and wish you would hurry up and finish the book of our hero to be. Great writing Richard, and getting better with time. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Yay!!! And who cares about poetic licenses anyway, poetry is not all about license and tregistration please and sign here, here, and then add today's date, but just about removing those barbed-wire fences! (big hugggssssss) This is so beautiful, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Richard, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Quite freely she admits she counts the days and finds misspent the time that doubt mislay an ember too long dormant now ablaze yet muted in her subtle Monet way. As ancients sought distraction in the stars, aligned the night to justify events, ================================ lay still and wonder could her love exhume the faint and flick'ring hope in his withdrawal. ============================= Of course they'll meet, they must for in the end when warmth and passion flow from the bloodstream they would at least those moments have transcend the dark, the night, the stars and known a dream. ======================================== do you know how impressive and cool this poem truly is???? when you got done writing it...did you have that feeling... you know..that feeling of inner satisfaction and connection with ones muse when we just know we nailed one?? THAT feeling.. You should have..this is poetry in motion!! Im giddy from reading this aloud... what a delight your rhymes are... this is a very very cool write.... a keeper and a "iwishihadwrotethis" in shifting sands through wasp-waist hourglass? how cool it that image-alliteration-line... waaay cool |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Masterful writing, Shakespeare himself would be honoured and pleased. |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
Your words do warm a bitter cold morning..such beautiful music inside you, waiting for the dance. |
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