»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #23
»
The Cliffs (haiku)
| Open Poetry #23 |
|
The Cliffs (haiku) |
|
Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981
|
cliffs rose by the shores I miss those waves that died there I can still hear them Thank you all for reminding me what the last line was going to say. Never be normal! [This message has been edited by Wind (11-30-2002 12:28 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Liz - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Even still adds a richness to the cliffs, the waves and your art. ThisDiamond |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Wind, you just blew me away with this one! Wonderful! ~ happy hugs! EA |
||
|
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
often the syllable count does vary in haiku, so that's okay...it does read quite powerfully, as well, without 'still,' though. Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
||
garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Liz, I really like this. It brings nice thoughts to my mind.  "Love makes the world go around" |
||
|
regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ah, you wrote this well and I've experienced the thought in your last line. I agree with VAS about leaving still out. It would 'still' be as powerful. Ever a learning process, this poetry writing, but as ~you~ wish... I like it as is. ~In time~, you will be one of the few who can write any way you want for your talent will carry you through all the 'correct structures' of poetry writing and no doubt you will be coming up with very acceptable new forms. And we will enjoy each word! Thank you for sharing your talent with us. Quite enjoyable. Hugs and warm regards, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (11-30-2002 11:46 AM).] |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Wind, Just say "I can still hear them." enjoyed |
||
|
Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Thank you! that is what I was going to say, but I forgot it as i was writing it down. Ok, thanks  Never be normal! |
||
|
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh Liz, this is lovely, sweet friend, I love the tidepulls by the shores in California and Oregon and I long to move to the ocean to hear them everyday! (kiss on cheek) This is lovely, sweet friend, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Liz, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
