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Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

0 posted 2002-11-30 12:20 PM

As darkness falls upon the land,
Another day draws to an end,
I tarry not in sun's last glow,
For it is time, I now must go.

What creature this, from deep within,
That rises up at night's begin,
And of my being takes control;
By unseen force am captured whole.

Leading me on path temerarious,
Into the dark of night precarious,
It is not, I fear the night,
For I have felt of sorrow's bite.

'Lo many days have come and gone,
I yearn no more first blush of dawn,
As to the darkness I now wend,
Upon the path of night's descend.

[This message has been edited by Tim (11-30-2002 01:13 AM).]

neveah5
Member

since 2002-11-22

Posts 197
Ohio

1 posted 2002-11-30 03:49 AM

Nice rhyming
I always have a really hard time with rhyme..hey that rhymes

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

2 posted 2002-11-30 04:06 AM

Tim,
Don't descend too far into darkness, we need your light here.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2002-11-30 12:20 PM

....fade to black...

Ah Tim. You have done justice to this piece.

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (11-30-2002 12:22 PM).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2002-11-30 12:25 PM

Tim
Enjoyed the read.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

5 posted 2002-11-30 07:59 PM

(sigh) Yes, always follow the lodestar as it will lead you to the light, sweet friend, never let the darkness consume you, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Tim, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Star T
Member

since 2002-07-12

Posts 182
Philadelphia, US

6 posted 2002-11-30 08:55 PM

that was a nice piece . this is your first piece that i'm reading and i love it. u have such a good writing technique i love it.maybe i could learn from u to make me better.it seems u've got lots of experience in poetry. but on the real side,pls dont let the dark side consume u,all it will do is level u to nothing.Jesus cares...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

7 posted 2002-11-30 08:58 PM

Tim, please "Go to the light!"
Don't be swallowed by the night!
You have so much to share
With Pipsters who really care!

Great poem--but a little bit disturbing if this is how you really feel. If so, you could put a bandaid on the situation and sleep with a night light on!

~ Sending lots of glorious, energizing,loving (((((((LIGHT))))))))

Linda

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

8 posted 2002-11-30 09:51 PM

I love these deep and mysterious poems. Good job, good write. I enjoyed it.

Never be normal!

Crysania
Member

since 2002-09-21

Posts 67
Lost in a dream. (Please don't wake!)

9 posted 2002-11-30 10:08 PM

'Lo many days have come and gone,
I yearn no more first blush of dawn,
As to the darkness I now wend,
Upon the path of night's descend.

**

I really liked that stanza! It...I dunno, moved me. Especially the second and fourth lines. Even more especially, the second line. 'I yearn no more first blush of dawn'. Again, not sure why.

Every heart has hidden treasures...a secret wish, a silent dream, and a cherished love. [Unknown]

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