navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Comes the Night
Open Poetry #23
Post A Reply Post New Topic Comes the Night Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794


0 posted 2002-11-30 12:20 PM


As darkness falls upon the land,
Another day draws to an end,
I tarry not in sun's last glow,
For it is time, I now must go.

What creature this, from deep within,
That rises up at night's begin,
And of my being takes control;
By unseen force am captured whole.

Leading me on path temerarious,
Into the dark of night precarious,
It is not, I fear the night,
For I have felt of sorrow's bite.

'Lo many days have come and gone,
I yearn no more first blush of dawn,
As to the darkness I now wend,
Upon the path of night's descend.

[This message has been edited by Tim (11-30-2002 01:13 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Tim - All Rights Reserved
neveah5
Member
since 2002-11-22
Posts 197
Ohio
1 posted 2002-11-30 03:49 AM


Nice rhyming
I always have a really hard time with rhyme..hey that rhymes


Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
2 posted 2002-11-30 04:06 AM


Tim,
Don't descend too far into darkness, we need your light here.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2002-11-30 12:20 PM



....fade to black...

Ah Tim.  You have done justice to this piece.

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (11-30-2002 12:22 PM).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2002-11-30 12:25 PM


Tim
Enjoyed the read.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2002-11-30 07:59 PM




(sigh) Yes, always follow the lodestar as it will lead you to the light, sweet friend, never let the darkness consume you, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Tim, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Star T
Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 182
Philadelphia, US
6 posted 2002-11-30 08:55 PM


that was a nice piece . this is your  first piece that i'm reading and i love it. u have such a good writing technique i love it.maybe i could learn from u to make me better.it seems u've got lots of experience in poetry. but on the real side,pls dont let the dark side consume u,all it will do is level u to nothing.Jesus cares...
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2002-11-30 08:58 PM


Tim, please "Go to the light!"
Don't be swallowed by the night!
You have so much to share
With Pipsters who really care!

Great poem--but a little bit disturbing if this is how you really feel. If so, you could put a bandaid on the situation and sleep with a night light on!

~ Sending lots of glorious, energizing,loving (((((((LIGHT))))))))

Linda  


Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

8 posted 2002-11-30 09:51 PM


I love these deep and mysterious poems. Good job, good write. I enjoyed it.

Never be normal!

Crysania
Member
since 2002-09-21
Posts 67
Lost in a dream. (Please don't wake!)
9 posted 2002-11-30 10:08 PM


'Lo many days have come and gone,
I yearn no more first blush of dawn,
As to the darkness I now wend,
Upon the path of night's descend.

**

I really liked that stanza! It...I dunno, moved me. Especially the second and fourth lines. Even more especially, the second line. 'I yearn no more first blush of dawn'. Again, not sure why.

Every heart has hidden treasures...a secret wish, a silent dream, and a cherished love. [Unknown]

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Comes the Night

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary