Open Poetry #23 |
The Man Who Beat Tiger Woods |
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
(pardon the length...sometimes I get carried away in my story-tellin' and I don't want it to end. Mea culpa ) . . The sound was like a rifle shot...a POW!!..and that was that. The car lurched to the right as wobbly tire announced a flat. The driver pulled off to the right and shut the engine down Then shook his head disgustedly as lips curved into frown. He should have caught a flight, thought Tiger Woods, disgustedly, Instead of driving through the hills of southern Tennessee But it had seemed a good idea - peace and solitude, A little bond with nature to relax his attitude. The times were few he had a chance to relish simple things. His life was filled with hectic days that fame and fortune brings. A chance to get away from all the frenzy sounded great Yet here he was, immobile, by a cruel twist of fate. There was a sign in front of him that made young Tiger smile. The letters on the sign saidGOLFTOWN, TENNESSEE - ONE MILE. He almost laughed out loud, eyes twinkling with the irony That HE should chance to get a flat near Golftown, Tennessee! Just then a car came 'round a bend and pulled up to a stop. A well-dressed man got out and Tiger saw the man's jaw drop. "My God!!", the man said, "Tiger Woods!! Well, don't this beat the band! I'm proud to meet you, sir", he said, as he outstretched his hand. Turned out it was the Mayor of Golftown who'd come passing by. He offered his condolences and then said, "Tiger, why Don't you come visit our small town? I'll send boys for your car. Our town would sure appreciate a visit from its star." Tiger had to smile at the observance of it all. The town sign on the outskirts was shaped like a huge golf ball! Red, green and yellow traffic lights resembled golf balls, too And giant tees held street signs on the town's main avenue. The town itself was small enough - a few stores, nothing more... A bank, a bar, a beauty shop, an old-time country store. The Golftown Country Club stood on the outside of the square. The Mayor parked the car and he and Tiger climbed the stair. The clubhouse was not elegant, not built for luxury In this small town up in the hills of southern Tennessee But it had class and flair and, in its own way, it had style. The atmosphere that it possessed caused Tiger Woods to smile. He saw the pictures on the walls of all the golfing greats And scenes of famous golf holes painted on the dinner plates. He caught his breath and felt a chill go down his spine because He saw HIS picture with a plaque - THE BEST THAT EVER WAS. The few men sitting in there all got up to shake his hand. Their eyes shone with a light that Tiger Woods could understand For golfers have a special code, from duffers to the pros... "If you play golf then you're my friend"...is how their credo goes. "Too bad", the Mayor said, "you don't have time to play a round Although our course would not compare to other ones you've found. Besides, there's no one good enough to match your kind of skill Except, of course, for him but you don't want to play with Bill." Well, Tiger looked up at those words, unsure at what he'd heard. To think that there was someone here to match him was absurd! The Mayor was looking at an old guy sitting at the bar, A paper spread in front of him as he smoked his cigar. "I wouldn't want to play him?", Tiger Woods said. "Why is that?" The Mayor just shook his head as fingers fiddled with his hat. "'Cause you're the greatest in the world, deserving of the fame But, if you played with Bill, You'd lose - he's never lost a game." "No one knows how he does it - he is Nature's freak somehow. He always hits it true and straight and nobody knows how. He's like some idiot savant - his brain is wired that way. His life is nothing special but, at golf, that man can play!" "They've all come 'round to take him on, to put him to the test. Jack Nicklaus came - Trevino, too - when they were at their best. Old Bill just spanked them gently and then sent them on their way. They never told a soul....were too embarrassed, I would say." "At times some brash young pros come by to take the old boy on And he obliges willingly until their money's gone. He could have made it big on tour", the Mayor just shook his head, "But limelight's not his style so he just hangs around, instead." At this point Tiger knew he had to meet this local star. He walked across the dining room and leaned against the bar. "Hello.", he said, his hand extended. "I am Tiger Woods. I had a flat outside of town. The Mayor says you're good." The old man took the hand extended, shook it with a smile. He said, "I know you, Tiger, and I do admire your style. You are the best the game has seen, at least that's what they say. I love to watch you on tv and - me? Yes, I can play." "Perhaps you'd like to play a round", said Tiger, with a grin. "The Mayor and all the others seem to think that you might win." "I love to gamble", old Bill said. "It keeps me out of debt So, if you want a match with me, you're gonna have to bet." These words made Tiger smile. His face was all upon a grin. "I'll put my money down, old-timer. When do we begin?" "No, you don't understand", said Bill, "the type of bet I choose. A bet is not a true bet if you're not afraid to lose." "If you lose money - no big deal. You're rich beyond belief. We have to play for something that would cause the loser grief. We both rely on golf to earn a living, right? Well, then The loser of our match agrees to not play golf again." "To not play golf again!?!?", screamed Tiger. "Man, are you insane!? You think I'll risk my whole career?", said Tiger with disdain. "What risk?", said Bill. "You're Tiger Woods, golf's brightest, shining star While I am just an old man sitting in a clubhouse bar." "You're on!", said Tiger. "If you want, I'll take your foolish bet. I've been challenged by the best and haven't backed down yet. I'll get a room tonight and then I'll meet you here at dawn. We'll have our match, you'll be retired and then I'll move along." Poor Tiger had a restless night in bed at that motel. Perhaps Bill HAD some talent that made him invincible! He knew that there were singers in some non-descript small bars With voices that could shame the ones that fortune had made stars. The world was filled with unknown genius no one knew about Who never got the breaks or chance to let their talents out. Perhaps Bill was an oddity - he beat Jack in his prime - And Tiger's foolish pride had placed him in a mess this time! Next morning he drove to the clubhouse, climbedthe wooden stair. It seemed like every resident of that small town was there. They all were nice to Tiger, said to meet him was a thrill, But most of them then drifted off to joke around with Bill. Tiger went to Bill to do thething he had to do. He said, "I'm really sorry but I've got bad news for you. A personal appearance I'd forgotten is today And, though I'd really like to, I just don't have time to play." "That's ok, Tiger." Bill replied. "Of course I understand. I can't imagine all the things a man like you has planned. We all are glad you happened by and there may come a day You'll find yourself around these parts and that's when we can play." Tiger was impressed by all the graciousness displayed. He almost felt embarrassed by the weak excuse he'd made. He bid them all a fond farewell and drove off, speedily, Relieved to finally get away from Golftown, Tennessee. As soon as Tiger disappeared, a loud cry of elation Shook the clubhouse walls as they began their celebration! The men all traded high-fives while the Mayor hugged his wife And all applauded Bill, who never played golf in his life!!! The ruse had all been planned, you see, from large tacks in the road To make sure that at least one tire of Tiger's would explode And then the Mayor passing by to bring him into town And then, of course, Bill's bet to see if Tiger would back down. It wasn't out of disrespect - no, just the opposite. It was to make sure Tiger would turn down a stupid bet. The boy had all the talent in the world of golf, they knew And now they knew he had the brains to be a leader, too. They'd done the same to Nicklaus about thirty years before When fate stepped in to bring young Jack there knocking at their door. They had Bill make his foolish wager in the clubhouse bar And when Jack turned him down they knew that he would be a star. The ladies drank mimosas while the men broke out the beer And everyone in Golftown raised their glasses in good cheer. They gave a toast to Golftown Bill, who smiled at their applause And thenthey toasted Tiger Woods, the best that ever was. Some month later, Woods played Nicklaus for some charity. He said, "You ever hear of Bill from Golftown, Tennessee?" Jack froze for just a second at the mention of Bill's name, Then slowly said, "It rings a bell. They say that he's got game." > The years have moved along since then and Bill has passed away. He'll always be the only man that Tiger wouldn't play. His picture's on the clubhouse wall - this plaque beneath his name.. "In Memory of Bill - The Best to Never Play the Game".> [This message has been edited by Balladeer (11-25-2002 10:30 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Mike, An epopee, a delightful one. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Ahhh, Michael ... you got a hole in one, with this wonderful tale! Beautifully woven, Excellent flow, and held my interest from start to end. Too long, my 'Deer? Never! I could read you from morning through to night. Best wishes and hugs ... loved this! /Kit |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I wanted this to be a Never-Ending Story! I could read you forever--and I'm looking forward to receiving your book of poetry! Your poems are so interesting, witty and charming--just like the man who writes them! Linda |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Well, Mr. Balladeer, this was a delight to read. I really liked it. A very good story. By the way, the length didn't bother me at all. It held my interest from beginning to end. "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (11-26-2002 12:11 AM).] |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Balladeer...With the magical stroke of your pin you have given us a masterpiece. Enjoyed ..Paul |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
a fun read old chap! no doubt about it; but I must disagree with the apparent moral of the story. how can you claim to be the best and yet know in the back of your mind that you backed down? there are the average, the followers, the leaders, and the gods - the latter never back down. -majnu |
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Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
WoW!! Yeah, well I'm speechless, this was absolutly terrific! [This message has been edited by Miah (11-26-2002 01:16 AM).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
This is a splendid story... in such a delightfully penned verse... and I am not exaggerating... Thanks for the pleasure it gave me to read this one... Regards to you Sir Balladeer, sudhir |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
very nicely told Deer... humor and human nature...both with a touch of humanity. Enjoyed! |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
This is a wonderful write 'Deer..Great story in rhyme... |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Long or short your stories are always the best. I truely enjoyed this one. This is a wonderful story. |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
A whole town's humanity coming together in keeping those who ARE best, humble, in order that they will continue to strive for the best, in the name of Bill. You ARE a master storyteller, but you haven't met Tom, have you? |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Now I have to come down there again to hear you recite this one that is for sure. This was truly delightful and I know about 9 men that don't play golf anymore that will be grinning from ear to ear this Thursday when I read this to them. Michael, you are truly amazing. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Well isn't this superb!!! I enjoyed every word. I was waiting patiently for it. I was, I was... Ya know - You should send a copy to Tiger.. and Jack.. et al... I know I'm going to share it with my golfer friends. This is great Deer. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
When a tale is this delightful and told in such perfect form, it could never be too long. *S* This is wonderful... enjoyed every bit! *S* |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Fantastic write 'Deer! Nobody tells a story like you do....NOBODY! ~Hugs~ ~Life is too short not to believe in Santa Claus~ |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(giggles in delight) Oh Balladeer, this is wonderful, sweet friend, hehehe, go get 'em Tiger! Growl! LOL! (big hugggssssssss) Now let's see if he can be just as great in hockey, LOL, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Balladeer, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Gunslinger Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 901TX, USA |
My friend, I bow to the master. You are always fresh, and ingenius, and adroit with a well turned phrase. Bravo. |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
You're a true Balladeer, Michael Enjoyed your story very much Like Mysteria, I have to come down again to hear you recite, because not only you are a great story writer, you also have a voice wich is a pleasure to listen to. Now how about that for a compliment Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
Balladeer wonderful writing. You never fail to write well and this is outstanding. I wish I could get a hole in one deer it would be so nice even Tiger Woods would be impressed I think. Very well written love and warm stuff as always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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Leigh Anne Junior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 48Scottsboro, AL USA |
HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOO old friend! LOL....remember me? Had my son and poetry kinda ended with the overwhelming amount of diaper changes...LOL...but now that we're potty training....I'm back...until we tackle our next milestone at least! I've missed this site & your work SO much! It was so refreshing coming back to find inspiration which I've always found IN YOUR WORDS!!! Huggzzz, Leigh Anne Leigh Anne~~~ |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Sy...thanks for stopping by. Kit...that makes us even. I could write for you all night!! Linda...what a nice thing to say! My book will feel nice in your hands.... garysgirl...I'm so glad. I was afraid it was too long to do that. Thanks for letting me know... Paul...I appreciate your reading VERY much.. majnu...gods are overrated. I've learned two facts in life...(1) never bet unless the value of what you may win at least matches what you risk and (2) no matter how good you think you are, there is someone better....thanks for the comments! Miah..thank you for the "terrific"! Sudhir...your praise is very special to me...I thank you, sir Ron..we all try to inject a little humanity in our work. Thanks for letting me know it worked out this time.. Toerag..thanks for the sincere comment, my friend.. Sue...thanks for coming along for the ride!! Lady...Tom? Not unless it's Tom Turkey...we have a date on Thursday! Mysteria...thank you! Give the Evergreeners my warmest wishes for the holidays! Nan...thankee, ma'am. I may just send it for kicks. Why not? LOL! Suthern gal...thanks, Ruth! Not only you Texans have tall tales Nancy..thank you! Writing for you is fun!! Noah....go Tiger indeed!! but..hockey??? LOL! That ain't gonna happen!! Gunslinger...thanks for the kind words from a fellow (and talented) storyteller. I appreciate it... Titia..a nice compliment indeed! We will have a BIG gathering next time! (knuffels) Krissy... you ARE a hole-in-one...a worthy prize for any sportsman! Tiger would be proud...and so would anyone!! Leigh Anne....WELCOME BACK!! Potty training is over? LOL! I'm glad you could find your way home and big congrats on the little one..it's good to hear from you.. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Deer, This was well over par - but in poetry that's a GOOD thing! Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
’Deer dearest heart, I finally got myself in here Yes dearest heart you are well worth me making a supreme effort, so I came if not hotfoot I came. As always your writing leaves me wishing that I had the ability to write a reply worthy of your gems. And don’t tell me that it was just a little jotting from you I’m well aware that YOU don’t need to work at writing, while the rest of us who don’t possess the gift you do, have to struggle to combine two lines into a semblance of coherent thought. Always your writing is brilliant and this is no exception, you know I love it utterly utterly utterly, it made me smile, it kept my attention from beginning to end and every line is a piece of poetic perfection. Too Long? Never, YOU could never write something that was too long. I could read you from New Year’s Day until New Year’s eve and still be asking for more. This really is a fabulous poem, and joins all your others in my library Love and warm stuff As always Mushy Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Heard tell Tiger got a copy of this and is still shaking his head... He thought you were going to keep his secret. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
A wonderful story, Balladeer, from beginning to end! |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
’Deer dearest heart bumpity bump Bev de Bump just visited me She said quite explicitly To raise this poem up once more To let it fly watch it soar She asked me to raise it high I didn’t ask her what or why To me it seems quite clear Its because it brings a tear Tears of laughter I meant to say The kind that wash pain away They fill the soul, fill the heart Bring joy that will not depart So Bev de Bump do your bit Show this poem is a hit Send it up to the top To gather smiles and not stop It really does deserve to get some more replies, it is a wonderful smile feast Love and warm stuff As always Mushy Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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