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Open Poetry #23
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2002-11-20 01:32 AM


Their Kerosine lies
light the fires
that burn our ambitions
and darken our thoughts
Yet nothing can mar
the poet's spirit
For within these flames
dreams are tempered
and inspiration forged
a shining sword
that cuts the page
and lets our souls
bleed through..

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (11-20-2002 01:34 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2002-11-20 06:28 AM


YES!  You can never take the soul of a poet.  This is wonderful!

"When we're torn apart,
shattered and scarred,
love has the grace to save us"
Saints and Angels as sung by Sarah Evans

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-11-20 09:52 AM



I'm confused.
Poets lie?
Now, if the kerosine lays in wait
of a spark
that the flame might be bright
in the poet's write
now that I would understand!

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2002-11-20 10:01 AM


Who is the "Their"--to whom you are referring? It sounds as though you are saying poets lie?

I must say however, from the 5th line down, I found this to be wonderfully written--clear, forceful, full of passion and captures the true soul of a poet!

Well done!
Earth Angel

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
4 posted 2002-11-20 10:21 AM


I totally understand what you're saying. 'Their' refers to those who burn our ambitions.You show them as the liars, not the poets. I found your poem motivating and refreshing, confrontational and soulful.
Thankyou for such an original and proud piece.
lots of love, gemmaxxxxxxxxx

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2002-11-20 10:24 AM


Aenimal
Enjoyed the read, well done.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2002-11-20 10:26 AM



Ok, different slant through others' eyes...
now I see how the kerosine lies...


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
7 posted 2002-11-20 04:53 PM


'Their' is left to the reader's interpratation. Whether a specific person, group or generally oppressive force, 'their' is the villian of this poem. The poet is the hero of this poem and as such the 'their' of this poem its villian. Thus despite the flames of their lies the poet is not defeated but strengthened. I wrote it late last night and I guess it needs a major rewrite.
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2002-11-20 09:28 PM


Thanks gemjop you've got it. Maybe I can phrase it another way? If anybody's has any suggestions i'm open to your thoughts.
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