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Open Poetry #23
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Fallen Castles
| Open Poetry #23 |
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Fallen Castles |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... 
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~*Fallen Castles*~ A lonely night and I... deep in remember... suddenly shattered by forgotten words of love a landslide of emotions my heart is heavy buried beneath rubble of fallen castles of kings and kingdoms never meant to be a dream juggled away at my own hands... and I... the court jester yet still... I remember you... "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (11-14-2002 10:57 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I can hardly breathe! I have been there and you have expressed this so well--and very poetically! Fine writing! EA |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
nice little vignette here Virgil. it does what many cannot - capture the emotion, rather than tell about it. coolies. |
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PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Smashing, darlin'. Smashing. (like I just spoketh to you.) Anyhow.  Sincerely, Titus "A life unexamined is not worth living." |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) Oh Vicky, this is so sadly heartfelt, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and I unerstand how so much of chivalrous love has been imploded down to ashes yet know it still exists and everyone in the world will find true joy! (kiss on cheek) This is heartfelt, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Vicky, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Such deluge on impact...excellent write! ThisDiamond |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Vicky, your poetry never ceases to amaze me. You write everything with such feeling and emotion, regardless of the subject.....even about a "paperclip"!! HeeHee!! Thanks for sharing your talent. "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (11-15-2002 12:05 PM).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
a dream juggled away at my own hands... and I... the court jester yet still... I remember you... =================================== ahh..the ache..the angst ... and the impact of those last lines....... ya know what I say.... tis not easy being a moth  Beautiful bittersweet write poetess Vicky!! No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...deep in remember... To visit the past, see the roads taken, but lay no regret at yesterdays door... because there is no one there to answer, and better to see through the windows to the new lanes that are before us... kick some red-gold-yellow leave with me for in our stroll we amble towards tomorrow... and all that is yet to come. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Vicky There is much impact in the emotion of the memory, and the final lines just tie it up, as if with turth. Wonderful, bittersweet write. |
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GOlDsparklESS Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428central nj |
enjoyed this very much. i can relate, because i feel like an idiot, crushed under some forlon, fallen castle. |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
magical. the emotion jumped right out at me. -majnu |
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~K Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 104 |
Masochistic jesters juggle fireballs & set the castle ablaze with a majestic flourish ~K |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
neat write yuh jongaluer (sp?) |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
wonderful vick!..i really like that one!!  hugs, g "dont cry because its over, smile because it happened...!" -unknown |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
second read ... this one hurts...  you wrote that stuff right in there very well my friend...i have had my own remembers...such as this...and while reading thru this time, i was touched by the ache a few times...just remembering..how it felt...wow..takes the breath away, that ache does....... lv,g "dont cry because its over, smile because it happened...!" -unknown |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
sometimes you read a poem and have no words to say...this is one of those times hugss M |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Vicky, this is a very awesome poem, of the loneliness of the jester, standing alone in the court, the ruins of a castle at her feet..... said very well, so poetic. Enjoyed... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellently expressed, Vicky! And beautifully, too! |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
This one really touches my heart. I know the feeling well. Well written my friend. Hugs, Deb |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This just reaches out and slaps the reader in the face, Vicky.... It awakens the senses and is written with so much heartfelt emotion... a wonderful write  ~ loving chipmunk hugsLyra |
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cpalmer Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977Phoenix, Az |
Gorgeous as always! Hugs Cindi |
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moonflower Junior Member
since 2002-11-17
Posts 37magical land of make-believe |
this just reaches out and grabs the reader..i absolutely love the way you write!..will read this many times..  inside every soul there is music...let the music play |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Vicky Your words were so heartfelt and so well written. The images portrayed through your words were breathtaking......I loved it! Take care......Sue I am in motion |
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