»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #23
»
-- Someday --
| Open Poetry #23 |
|
-- Someday -- |
|
|
Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
|
This poem is long, but, I feel that it's one of my best.... Someday Couples, happy couples clinging close, touching tight, wearing the sky as a cloak, drinking coke into champagne - a river to trickle down their throats into butterflies and carriage rides at midnight in the park, watching a lark fly their promises, their dawns, their beginning and end come true; Kindreds, euphoric couples meshing melange of merry and being one, laughing loud, strolling proud, featherlight in shrill of sigh, showing off, loving love and making my heart break and snap to die as I watch them from this place where I still stand alone. I walk backward; wounded forward with sorrow sowed hands filled and that aching, screaming lump in my throat of stalled breathless, never been true love-kissed soul passage swell - the kind that refuses to go away even with a glass of water and lingers with a swallow of regret, stale stained, frown worn cheek mounds. Still, I sing a fling in wait for a ring of diamond is forever though I am trapped in the moment of maybe he is Mr. Right now, a cubic zirconia setting, as I settle for less of not being single-digit. And I clutch a frayed leather black book with far too many pure pages and blank lines though there was once a past gem strewn across the ivory cream of dreams in print. And I know that someday is a place, a time, a blade of summer grass, dried out and reminiscent of a day, a future redemption when someday was real and filled with faith; when someday was a word we used to taunt each other with, a distant dance we hungered for, but, were anxious not to find too soon. Someday was a yearning, a burning, a man I saw myself in an ocean of skin I could dive into naked with eyes wide shut. And, that someday was a child we would have had, but, didn’t, a gift I knew would come, but, never has. I’m tired of the charade, my posing as perfect princess, this elusive illusion, the ‘please pick me as a flower’ date interviews to remove my thorns and smell my pheromones. I’ve been dating the years themselves, I’m exhausted, emotionless, lonely life of a doll that is made to speak, though the batteries are acid corrosive by seep of tongue tangle, shedding itself of damn mute pain weep - I want the reality behind the fantasy. It is I, in disguise that sees through the masks of others, serene on sleeve, the makeup monotony expressions of supposed peace, no, they can’t paint my eyes pulled over of turquoise sea of wool because I can’t fool myself or the notion of emotion that is ready to flow. I am a transparent cutout paper doll dream looking to my right with glass bead reckless stare to see that the recycled paper prince has been split in half with the scissors of fate, of the red rum sun exploiting my flaws awake - the same to match my heart, my hope, as imagination and wishes never have room for truth. And then the gingerbread house begins to crumble and at last I fall hard, broken, foolish, humble when the man I insist that I love is almost married, and realizes that I am too full of my own baggage and his bloody claw marks from trying to climb and scratch through my walls. Couples, happy couples clinging close, touching tight, wearing the sky as a cloak, showing off, loving love and making my heart break and snap to die as I watch them from this place where I still stand alone. By Melissa P. Monette [This message has been edited by Honeybee (11-10-2002 07:44 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
I have never seen one of your poems before. So I have to say that this is your best I've read so far. it was truely a delight to read, and i will look further into your works.  ~Liz~ "Sticks and stones will break my bones, |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: You've not lost your touch... welcome home, Melybee... |
||
|
angelswing Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705United Kingdom |
Wow; that was long - well worth the read however, a beuatiful poem that with every passing line seemed to excell itself ... Written with passion and love friend . L.of.L. Tom . XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 'There is only a very thin line between genius and insanity, this is measured only on sucess; I am proud to be considered an under-achieving genius'. |
||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) Oh Melissa, this is so wonderfully said and heartbreaking, sweet friend, I think too this is one of your greatest hits yet so sad, you stood there in my vision almost like a little girl looking through a display case window at a puppy you could never have and I could feel your tears! (sigh) Someday just make a state of mind but anything isn't, so know if you recycle those dreams without cutting them into paper dolls, you can find a whole new intricate design as your love is bound to come to you undaunted, untainted, unintoxicated. (sigh) I send angel hugs out to you, sweet friend, God Bless You, you are so deserving of true happiness and I know you will find it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Melissa, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You shine in this...the description of champagne turning into butterflies, just one of the many images that stuck with me.. images you can feel...and check your e mail, for yep, this reminded me of still yet another true serenity story... Happy to read you again...huggles |
||
|
Red Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 143Ca |
"I want the reality behind the fantasy." This poem brought some serious tears to my eyes, it really spoke to me.... thank you for sharing it. |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Melissa, I don't think I've read your poetry, either, in the less than 2 months that I've been here. So, I really don't know if this is from your personal experiences, or not. Either way, I could feel a lot of emotion coming out of the words.....sad emotions, with a bit of hope sprinkled among them. Even though it was long, your words kept me interested through the whole poem. Thanks for sharing. "Love makes the world go around" |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Someday was a yearning, a burning, a man I saw myself in an ocean of skin I could dive into naked with eyes wide shut. And, that someday was a child we would have had, but, didn’t, a gift I knew would come, but, never has. What a write this was Melissa, and well worth the wait for you to do. The emotions in this hit you right between the eyes, and the feelings are power-packed by your descriptive metaphors. Melibee, you done good on this one girl, and I wish you had kept the stanzas in you took out, as it is never long enough if it is good, and this was indeed! |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Fantastic write Melissa!!! YOU have arrived! Dang! You're good! ~Hugs~ ~Let your heart guide you... |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Melissa, A wonderful palette and a wonderful write. I always enjoy the reads of your light. Sy |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
’m tired of the charade, my posing as perfect princess, this elusive illusion, the ‘please pick me as a flower’ date interviews to remove my thorns and smell my pheromones. I’ve been dating the years themselves, I’m exhausted, emotionless, lonely life of a doll that is made to speak, though the batteries are acid corrosive by seep of tongue tangle, shedding itself of damn mute pain weep - I want the reality behind the fantasy. It is I, in disguise that sees through the masks of others, serene on sleeve, the makeup monotony expressions of supposed peace, no, they can’t paint my eyes pulled over of turquoise sea of wool because I can’t fool myself or the notion of emotion that is ready to flow. ================================== So much to see here.... as always your emote bleeds down the page with aching expression and depth...and youve worked your theme with the same depth using metaphor, personification and imagery. And then there is the internal rhymes and alliterations and word play your added. So many clever lines and phrases...you've taken some "classic cliches" and put your own spin on them and made them your own.. which is way cool. It is I, in disguise that sees through the masks of others, love the wisdom and truth in that line... So good to see your muse is back and working hard for ya Melis.  No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ... |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
This reads is so real that is sounds like it comes from your own personal experience. You pulled me in and kept my interest until the end. You most definitely should be proud of this piece of writing! EA |
||
|
Moonlight Romeo
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
A look deep inside of oneself. There is much here to be proud of, the least of which is a superb poem. Thank you. What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. |
||
|
Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
My muse was on strike for over 2 months and I honestly thought that my poetry writing days were over...until this poem poured out...in one day; hopefully inspiration will hit once again. Mostly, I am an optimistic person, but, yes, this poem is also true to my life. But, oddly enough writing darker poetry behind closed doors keeps me happy-go-lucky in daily life - go figure! Thank you all so much for your replies, I wish that I had time to thank you all individually, but, unfortunately I'm always in a hurry. "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh Melissa, you are right, as always. This reaches all those spaces we can't talk about easily. Hugs Sandra |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
