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Open Poetry #23
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one hundred blues and I said be still sophie
| Open Poetry #23 |
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one hundred blues and I said be still sophie |
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Alicia Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279
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one hundred blues and I said be still sophie she said be pretty be prepared and look this good -as if looking that good would solve something as if someone would save and provide just for it- she said sit, but don’t get too comfortable she was joking, in that pretty skittish way of hers (I think) she held this tiny hope in cheap stainless spoons and brought the tea in on a tray she said tomorrow brings another shade maybe one hundred and one I said I know I said be still sophie I said remain I said it was okay to dream of running when I knew her hands would lead her far from home (soon) when I knew her blue would bleed in tight/neat rows I told her I was prepared but not to look that good -as if looking that good could fix anything- she told me that she meant it she told me to get lost she told me I didn’t know what looking good was what it could bring she told me I didn’t know what blue was and how many times it’s face can change -as if I wasn’t nearing one hundred shades myself- so I left with my eyes on the coat rack wrought my small slight fingers by the door and she watched my feet fumble forward she watched my lips mouth 'remain' mouth 'be still sophie be still'. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Alicia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
wow.......this is so expressive and detailed. I really enjoyed this. |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
be still... for to see one hundred and one stories wrapped in a poem is a lot to take in... be still... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
she held this tiny hope in cheap stainless spoons and brought the tea in on a tray she said tomorrow brings another shade maybe one hundred and one I said I know I said be still sophie I said remain I said it was okay to dream of running when I knew her hands would lead her far from home (soon) when I knew her blue would bleed in tight/neat rows ================================ so I left with my eyes on the coat rack wrought my small slight fingers by the door and she watched my feet fumble forward she watched my lips mouth 'remain' ============================ when I knew her blue would bleed in tight/neat rows would you understand if I just let that say it all? No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ... |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
-as if I wasn’t nearing one hundred shades myself- so I left with my eyes on the coat rack wrought my small slight fingers by the door and she watched my feet fumble forward she watched my lips mouth 'remain' mouth 'be still sophie be still'. Alicia, so many emotions run through this piece, something new revealed with each read, I guess what I am trying to say is WOW... I used to make phantoms I could later chase images of all that could be desired then I got tired of counting all of these blessings"h.devoto magazine |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You...have my total admiration. |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
very rich. is the "i" purposeful or laziness? really so much here. this is one i'll have to think about for a while. |
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Spiros Zafiris Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982Canada |
..Alicia../\..yea, quite a poem; very strong.. ../\..Spiros -----------------trees------- |
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Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
You express a lot of feeling in this poem,.. Good job. I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Alicia Always the depth, the search, truth, discovery and the pain they all bring in your poetry. I admire the way you write! |
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reluctantlyme Junior Member
since 2002-10-28
Posts 34 |
You have a unique style of writing that I enjoyed very much. Even the parts where the meaning wasn't clear to me, were smooth and rhythmical to hear aloud. In particular I liked the repetition of thoughts and lines. Made for a challenging read. No matter how good looking she is... someone, somewhere is glad she's gone. |
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Alicia Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279 |
~Gentle Spirit, Decaflame,...thank you, for reading, for your comments. ~JM, jmjmjm,...yes, that does it. Thank you softly. ~Brian, for reading still, repeatedly, uhm, I guess what I'm trying to say is wow, lol, thank you. ~K?,...(sometimes I speak with my eyes, my face, rather than my voice, and god, this is one of those times). Thank you dearly for reading. ~majnu, thanks! And I believe it's both, so totally both! Thanks for reading. ~Spiros Zafiris, Connel, thank you kindly for reading, for your comments. ~Martie, for coming by, for the things you see and say, thank you. ~reluctantlyme, thanks for visiting really and for leaving something behind. *Peace poets.  . |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Hopefully today's blue is of a sky which raises the chin from this deep blue. A dream of running only turns nightmare if someone's chasing you. Don't be still but don't get lost. If only I could write like this....... |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
The depth of your mind and soul just leaves me speechless, you're an incredible poet Alicia. Maree  |
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