Open Poetry #23 |
Golden Rain |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Golden Rain The golden rain tree is misting yellow drops fall fall dusting the soft head of the baby whose eyes are brown questions that read my face then dart to the black bird that appears to fall too with feathers in ebony on lawn it holds a nut a nut that is squirreled by fluff of tail and slide of such down trunk a steal nipped in strut Is this a smile she questions knowing how to read grim and grin though not yet one she feels gold rain not hunger for a seed But she sees I have a preference written in my stomp of foot was it for the one that’s faster or the one who had it first ? |
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© Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Martie - well me thinks the one who had it first, but then if the faster one grabbed it from the one who had it first then the first one would have been slower, so that makes the other one faster but not necessarily first. Oh, my brain isn't working again... BC |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Yay!!! Awwwwwwww, this is soooooo wonderfully thought-provoking, sweet friend, I love it, this is soooooo cute and filled with so much gorgeous imagery! (kiss on cheek) This is pure gold, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiufl heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
One day Martie...one day.. I wish to be able to write as you do. Wonderful descriptive piece. ~Hugs sweet poetess~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You are my new poet to study... your skill at free verse is without compare Martie... mind if I follow you around a bit. Your images are stunning and your construction--and yet you lose not a thing in the translation of emotion. y'get me every time. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Ah hah....a brain teasing poem....crafted by the master twister...Ms. Martie/Smartie Pants.... Nicely done lady... |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
The one who had it first! Exceptional writing, Martie, but of course! |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
fun poem Martie and lots of fun discerning meaning in it at more levels than I maybe I should have gone - loved it and enjoyed it - Paul |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Martie your mind is a wondrous thing....if we could peek inside oh the things we would all learn. Wonderful write. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Lovely!--an exercise for my heart--and for my mind! Linda |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
lol - this is actually cute Martie. In addition, you have some clever lines that steer one away from the intent while technically being on course. Well done! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Bill---Here's the thing...it would have been the one who had it first, except I have this prejudice against crows..they are usually so self centered and mean...so I was glad the squirrel got his nut...serves him right. Just was thinking how many lessons observing nature can give me...and my granddaughter, too. A prejudice can turn a believe in what is right upside down. Noah--It was cute to watch Samantha watching. Nancy--You do something better....you write like you! Karen--Your comment made me feel delighted! Barry--and nuts to you...he he, and a hug too. Vandana--Very glad that you enjoyed this. Paul--It is always good to see on more than one level. Thanks for the read and reply! Donna--Thanks so much...I think it is just ordinary..but observant and listening..and I like to write about it. Linda--Exercise is good for you...and me! Christopher--I always like it when you stop to comment on one of my poems...makes me feel special. It was meant to be cute..and it did get me thinking about the impression that one small thing can have on a baby. |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
I love the way you teased these lines out, Martie...with those double entendres, no one does this as well as you do. ~ hugs from a nutty chipmunk Lyra |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
GrandmaMartie~ I'm smiling with the realization of your intend with this one~ LOVE the - 'yellow drops fall fall dusting the soft head of the baby whose eyes are brown questions that read my face' I can soooooooooooooo relate~ Happy Halloween, Sis~ Love n' WitchyHuglets~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...whose eyes are brown questions... what a picture this paints in my mind...I'm smiling here.... |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Martie, I love the way you take situations in life and are so observant that you can write a poem about it. To top it off, you explain the situation perfectly. Thanks for sharing this whole picture with us. Your litle granddaughter is lucky to have you. ~~~With Love And Hugs To All~~~ Ethel |
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