Turn Me Loose - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

0 posted 2002-10-29 04:24 AM

Turn Me Loose

We're not looking up.
More like falling apart.
You treat me as an enemy
so I'll just play the part.
I had it up to here
with you treating
me this way.
So turn me loose
and then I'll
just go
away.

JamesLee
Oct29
2002

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

1 posted 2002-10-29 11:41 AM

cool. one of the few examples of amateur poetry where the author uses the formatting of the poem effectively; the way you taper off the lines till "away" was startlingly effective.

the language is a bit trite with lines three and four being a bit of a cliche. still overall i liked it.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-10-29 01:08 PM

(big hugggssssss) Oh James, I can feel such heartache in your words, sweet friend, I hope all is alright and that now your love is allied with you and never again will your heart be at war as you deserve self-peace so very much! (sigh) My thoughts ae with you, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet James, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Robert Adamson
Member

since 2002-10-21

Posts 328
PA/USA

3 posted 2002-10-29 03:32 PM

I admire the way you state efforts to feel free. Thank you.

Radrook
Senior Member

since 2002-08-09

Posts 648

4 posted 2002-10-30 11:17 PM

Better to go one's way than to let someone change us for the worse.

Enjoyed!
God bless!

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2002-10-30 11:27 PM

JamesMichael, it sounds final to me. Sometimes, that's best, especially when you've "had it up to here" with the way you're being treated. Thanks for sharing.

Love To All,
Ethel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2002-10-31 01:36 AM

oh my...yes...I feel it to the bone!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2002-12-26 03:33 AM

ouch

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.