Untitled #4 - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #6

Untitled #4

Ephraim
Junior Member

since 2002-12-07

Posts 24

0 posted 2002-12-07 06:51 PM

Red flowing
through the haze.
Silver lighting
enjoyed in the blaze.

Rhyming stops
whenever it's told.
Or it begins
as easily a sin.

An existence over here,
breathing, seeing, perceiving.
What am I to you?
You are the sparkle
that lights my eyes.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

1 posted 2002-12-07 06:56 PM

Very good first post. Thank you for your reply to mine by the way. You are a very talented poet, I'll be looking for more of yours.
Laugh often, love much, live well.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

2 posted 2002-12-07 10:14 PM

AWESOME! And that`s all I have to say.
*Allison*

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

3 posted 2002-12-07 11:18 PM

The blood always finds a way through.

I like.

It had it's own connotations for me, but they may not have meant the same for you. Poetry is pretty that way.

Welcome to Pip.

- Jaime

i was here

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

4 posted 2002-12-09 08:09 PM

Welcome. Beware, you never know what to expect, except the times you do.

A good write.

~Titus

"A life unexamined is not worth living."
-Socrates

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

5 posted 2002-12-10 06:12 PM

i did enjoy this.

it had the beginnings of something that could be more than just what's here. but i'll let you discover what it really needs as there is no critique flag.

i smell talent. keep writing, i'd like to see more.

welcome to passions.

/jen/

'i don't care if it hurts, i want to have control. i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul.' [radiohead]

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