Razor Words (Formerly- {Insert Title Here})

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HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

0 posted 2002-12-04 10:12 PM

The ice in my heart
slowly melts away
as your gentle lips part,
your voice drifting my way.

Your voice, as sweet as honey,
drips words, sharp as razor blades.
I find it rather funny
that what I feel won't fade.

Being near you's like a dream,
though your razors cut my heart.
Blood flows from the cuts like a stream,
as my bliss begins to fall apart.

The cuts are too deep;
the warmth seeps away.
I wish I could weep
as I hear what you say.

I realize how you feel.
I'm just a friend to you.
That razor's cut won't heal,
yet I can't blame it on you.

Inside I've grown cold;
My heart turned to ice.
Gone is the life of old;
It dripped away with every slice.

________________________________________________

Okay! I need your help! I can't think of a title for this one! Grr! If anyone has ANY ideas, don't be afraid to post them!Thanks!

The title has been chosen! I thank all of you who were nice enough to submit! THanks!

[This message has been edited by HopelessRomanticGuy (12-06-2002 07:13 PM).]

Stinky Twinkie
Member

since 2002-11-26

Posts 204
Dinwiddie

1 posted 2002-12-04 10:31 PM

how about "The Ice in my Heart"? thats the best I can do.

Cathie Arnold
Junior Member

since 2002-12-03

Posts 18
SC

2 posted 2002-12-04 10:32 PM

Piece of art you have here. Good Job! How about for a title, "The Way You Love Me". I thought it was pretty cool myself.

Trista Gale
New Member

since 2002-12-04

Posts 5

3 posted 2002-12-04 10:39 PM

This poem is very well-written. Keep up the good work! In my opinion I like the second title by Cathie Arnold the best. Just my opinion.

palmerj
Junior Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 30
Coxsackie, NY

4 posted 2002-12-04 11:23 PM

Wow man Ive just check out all your poems that you have posted and I love how I can relate to them. I especially liked the last stanza the last line ended it very nicely. Keep them coming!

Jay

palmerj
Junior Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 30
Coxsackie, NY

5 posted 2002-12-04 11:30 PM

Wow man Ive just check out all your poems that you have posted and I love how I can relate to them. I especially liked the last stanza the last line ended it very nicely. Keep them coming!

Jay

PrincessNets
Member

since 2002-10-30

Posts 103
NewYork, USA

6 posted 2002-12-05 09:15 AM

I really liked this poem and I think for a title you might try "Just a Friend". I don't know if you are going to like that, but hey i tried. I really enjoy reading your poetry. Thanks for another great read!!

-Jeanette-

LadyDracaWolf
Member

since 2002-09-19

Posts 73
CA

7 posted 2002-12-05 10:26 AM

Wow...this is incredibly sensitive for a guy (no offense meant to the other guys out there). Very, VERY well done.

Death is not extinguishing the light;
it is putting out the lamp
because the dawn has come.

Rabindranath Tagore
Poet, Philosopher, Nobel Laurea

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

8 posted 2002-12-05 11:09 AM

*bows* How about "Razor Words."?

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

9 posted 2002-12-05 05:19 PM

I would call it "A Wonderful Masterpiece" or "Disney presents Razor Blades on Ice" Sorry I am soooo stupid! LOL Ok Good one tho!! It made me sadder than I already am!
*Allison*

Smoothy
Member

since 2002-12-02

Posts 119
The dark side of the moon

10 posted 2002-12-05 08:30 PM

I haven't got a clue as to what you might want to call this one. I can say that I only wish that I could write like this all the time instead of just having a good one every now and then.

Love conquers all, so I must be in a losing battle.

Rainbowdust
Member

since 2002-12-05

Posts 320
Sydney, Australia

11 posted 2002-12-05 10:53 PM

Your voice, as sweet as honey,
drips words, sharp as razor blades.

I love those lines and I know so many people like that... grrr... why can't people just be honest, and why can't everything be simple! (Cos we'd have nothing to write about, that's why! hehe) I like the way you pick out life's supreme ironies, and express them so well... the other one about being there for everyone and then having no one there for you was brilliant too. I like the title "The way you love me" best as well! Keep up the good work!

Oh yeah.. being a hopeless romantic myself, and knowing many people who aren't, I've realised we actually have the most hope... another irony or paradox.. whatever! :P

The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears.

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

12 posted 2002-12-06 07:18 PM

I thank you all! I was really stuck on this one! Now, I loved all the titles submitted, but of all of them, the one submitted my WinterWren (and also ironicly the same as the name suggested by one of my childhood friends), "Razor Words". Thank's to all who submitted, and don't feel bad, they were all good suggestions.

Rich

"You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!"

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

13 posted 2002-12-06 09:06 PM

But..But...But....Disney presents Razor Blades on Ice was the best!!!! LOL
*Allison*

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

14 posted 2002-12-06 09:17 PM

Do you have AIM Rich? If so whats your sn?
*Allison*

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

15 posted 2002-12-06 09:23 PM

My AIM S/N? It's KhaosKnight2K2. Feel Free to IM me. That goes for all of you. Just, well *scratches the back of his head it a very Tenchi Muyo style* lemme know who you are... cuz I probably will NEVER guess otherwise. LOL

"You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!"

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