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Teen Poetry #6

Changing Tastes

Avis
Junior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 38
Raleigh, NC, USA

0 posted 2002-12-04 01:11 AM

Sweeter is forbidden fruit
That's been tried before.
Now, I need it! I crave more.
I wait, quiet, at her root.

When may I take another bite?
Perhaps I never can.
T'would hurt the will of me, of man,
Yet that path could be right.

If my tree could sit nigh yours
In the autumn orchard,
Tainted tastes would not be tortured
As they were before.

Written: 12/2/02
Dedication: To a friend that I miss dearly

Peace and Love,
~KEV~

"An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness."
~Margaret Atwood

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

1 posted 2002-12-05 01:45 PM

woah, loving your imagery in this piece. it had a very mellow feel to it. loved your last stanza especially. very nice dedication, indeed. the only critique i have is that i thought it was short, maybe add another stanza or two. but it was still a good write. keep posting

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

Getting away, isn't Running away.

"The hurt that you try to hide, is killing me."

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (12-05-2002 01:46 PM).]

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