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NeverSayDie
Junior Member

since 2001-01-18

Posts 39
Duluth, MN & Grand Forks ND

0 posted 2002-12-03 04:00 PM

If your heart was broken.
Wouldn't you understand.
That to break anothers.
Is getting out of hand.
Your feelings should be true.
And to know the way you take.
Because the end of this,
is when my feeble heart did break

The knife is stuck in deep.
But which road should I take.
To leave the blade in or to extricate.
The blade may be a reminder of things that might of been.
But If it is removed then the heart may love again.

The feelings are returning.
The path it cannot change.
Her love for me is over.
But mine for her remains.
There may be another.
But in my mind the risk may be to great.
And here I stand alone.
In my broke state.

Smoothy
Member

since 2002-12-02

Posts 119
The dark side of the moon

1 posted 2002-12-03 06:38 PM

I know what its like to be in this situation. Unfortunately, I'm the heartbroken heart-breaker. Thanks for giving me new insight into my actions.

clve527
Member

since 2002-07-08

Posts 200

2 posted 2002-12-03 07:34 PM

Two main things I noticed, and frankly the only two things I will mention right now are the unneeded "cuteness" of the title. It adds nothing poetically. And the period after every line, which is entirely grammatically incorrect.

Casey

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

3 posted 2002-12-03 07:40 PM

Can't say I agree with Casey on the title... I like 1337! lol

I do agree on the periods though, though they didn't really take away from the poem. I thought it was great, and I know exactly how it feels. I feel for ya man. Hope it all works out, and that you'll get plenty of poetry written as it does! Well, till next time!

Rich

"You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!"

Crashoverride
New Member

since 2002-11-22

Posts 5
Texas

4 posted 2002-12-03 07:50 PM

This is the best poem yet. I know what you are going through im going through the same (atleast i think). I love this girl with all my heart and all she does is..break it she said she loved me as well. And now ...nevermind im babbling on maybe i should make a poem..thanks for the post..i think they need a depressing poem area hehe..catch ya later thanks again.
Always a friend,
Crash

Ashes to ashes dust to dust life is short so party we must!

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

5 posted 2002-12-03 07:52 PM

That was a wonderful poem! I didn't even notice the periods. The poem really hit home, I know what that's like all too well.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

PrincessNets
Member

since 2002-10-30

Posts 103
NewYork, USA

6 posted 2002-12-04 09:28 AM

I know how you feel. I have gone through it myself and even though I know what heartbreak feels like.... I just broke the heart of someone else. Sometimes if things aren't working out... there is nothing a person can do but break up or break another's heart. I feel so bad for what I have done, but it just wasn't working... so I had to break up with him...thanks for putting the other person's feelings into perspective... and I am sorry.... it sucks to be hurt like that...

-Jeanette-

Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member

since 2002-11-10

Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A

7 posted 2002-12-04 10:33 AM

I couldn't possibly agree with this poem any more. It reached out to me on such a personal level with what I have been going through lately. Great write

Chris

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