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Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member

since 2002-11-10

Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A

0 posted 2002-11-30 11:59 AM

Wishes

I wish I could be the one
You think of day and night
I wish I could be the one
You wish you could hold tight

I wish I could be the one
You want in every way
I wish I could be that one
You love more and more each day

I wish I could be the one
To look into those sparkling eyes
I wish I could be the one
That gets your every surprise

I wish I could show you
That you mean everything to me
And I wish you could be the one
To love me for me.

Agean
New Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 9

1 posted 2002-11-30 01:32 PM

great poem.. great repeated use of the first stanza,, except on para 4 stanza 1.. but it won't fix right.. may i add a 5th para...

I wish I could be the one,
to have the strength to tell,
I wish I could be the one,
to have you wishing for me as well,

snoduck
Member

since 2002-11-15

Posts 99
Selah, WA

2 posted 2002-11-30 04:56 PM

I may have this wrong, but the impression i get from this poem is that you really deeply care about someone, but either they don't know it, or they do know and turned you down. But like I said I may have this wrong, but anyway its meant to be interpreted I really enjoyed it. Believe me, I've felt the same way about someone... It was really beautiful and I love this poem. thanks for the read!!!

-Erica-

Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member

since 2002-11-10

Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A

3 posted 2002-12-02 03:40 PM

Thanks to all who replied! I'm really glad that others can also relate to this poem. Agean thanks for the 5th verse i knew i was missing something and that was it!! Thanks

moonguardian2004
Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 64
MA, USA

4 posted 2002-12-02 09:00 PM

great poem. i think i know who you are talking about. she is very lucky to have you even though it is not in that way. cherish what you have. i can relate to everything you have wrote. keep writing because they are beautiful!

~MERE~

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

5 posted 2002-12-03 06:53 PM

Sweetpoet16m4u04~
Lovely wishes and so beautifully expressed.
I enjoyed reading this.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

6 posted 2002-12-03 07:51 PM

I also got that this was about someone who dosen't know how you feel or turned you down, it actually reminds me of something like I'd write.  It was a great poem!  I agree with Agean though, about adding a 5th stanza... that 4th one is STUBBORN!  It really won't fix right!  LOL  Well, it was a great poem, and I hope to see more from ya!

                                                Rich

"You can't hurt meee!!  'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!"

[This message has been edited by HopelessRomanticGuy (12-04-2002 11:54 AM).]

alex m
Junior Member

since 2002-08-27

Posts 12

7 posted 2002-12-03 11:14 PM

yes i as well feel this same way i think about a girl and write much the same way about her....anyways thought id say i liked your poem look forward to reading more

PrincessNets
Member

since 2002-10-30

Posts 103
NewYork, USA

8 posted 2002-12-04 09:15 AM

Great Poem! I have felt much the same about a certain guy. You truly know how to express yourself beautifully! I loved the poem.

-Jeanette-

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