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Teen Poetry #6
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confused...inlove
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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confused...inlove |
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Star T Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 182Philadelphia, US |
i dont know how i'm feeling anymore, one minute i'm scared, the next i'm happy, next i'm missin u so much. i just have mixed feelings, sometimes i think i should let u go, and then i rebuke myself, cos i dont even want to know, how it'll feel like, for us not to be together anymore. so used to loving u, talking to u, thinking of u, dunno how it'll feel like not to. truth remains, i'll always love u, no matter what i say, and no matter what i do. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Star T - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Stinky Twinkie Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204Dinwiddie |
any poem that has the word "rebuke" in it deserves a thumbs up.....or a dancing baby.  -Stinky Twinkie- |
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clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
I tripped on the overuse of commas (nearly all of them incorrectly used) and the lazy spelling of words like cause and the lack of capitalization of I. Casey |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Punctuation is evil... good poem btw  Andrew |
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quik Member
since 2002-11-27
Posts 91Dinwiddie,Virginia |
VERY GOOD!!!!!! |
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MidnightSkyeBlue Junior Member
since 2002-11-24
Posts 14 |
punctuation doesn't make the poem it's the words..enjoyed whatever everyone has opinions..you know the saying  loved it.. |
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quik Member
since 2002-11-27
Posts 91Dinwiddie,Virginia |
thanx for the comments. a question can you spread the news for my poems and thanks again and did you check the " Tough Being A teenager holla |
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clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
Oh it's the words is it? The words that aren't spelled correctly because apparently the letters y, o, and u are too much. Good to know. Casey And please don't yell for bickering, if I am baited in that fashion I am surely allowed to take the bait. |
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molly_the_dolly Junior Member
since 2003-02-12
Posts 25Ontario, Canada |
great poem! It is sad to hear of people scared or confused but i guess that is just the painfull thorns, on the beautfull rose we call love. Ms.Amanda |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
God you guys, chill out, are we five years old or what? Let the poet be, argue on your own time. *I* happen to agree, however, that the words should be spelled out to make this better to read. I loved the concept, and completely relate to it- but as we write we have an obligation to try to make it a bit more universal so more people can have the pleasure of reading and understanding it (in my opinion). I liked this, and I would utterly love it if you just tweaked the words around (spelling wise). Nice work. "Now I'm convinced that he's heaven sent, and must be out of his mind- mama he's crazy, crazy over me." |
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Triskaidekaphobia Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251In a state of disrepair... |
Just a thought. Perhaps the misspelling is a literary device. When taken in context of the poem (confusion, uncertainty) it adds to the overall feel of the piece. As for the punctuation, I feel that the somewhat heavy use of it does well in presenting the work as a "fractured" piece; giving the feel of incomplete thought and disarray. I really enjoyed the feel of this poem! P.S Stinky why do you want to go foisting dancing babies off on people. They have to be the most disturbing things in known reality!!! There should be a psychology of feet. For do we not make decisions with our legs and walk about on our brains? What do you mean "No, not really"? [This message has been edited by Triskaidekaphobia (02-13-2003 08:41 AM).] |
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