Teen Poetry #6 |
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You were a Lie |
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stephanie Junior Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 33 |
A mind filled with blankness A heart filled with sorrow A soul that is empty praying for tomorrow Today has no meaning You tomorrow will that is why you pray- your soul you hope to fill With love and compasion or maybe just a friend that you know will not betray you and will be there to the end Your eyes lately unfocused or maybe your sight is clear there's no one left in this world to let your heart get near There are knives in your back and forks in your heart he was like no other but yet he ripped you apart The one that gave you hope tho only one to believe has now left you in the dark I have been decieved. |
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© Copyright 2002 stephanie - All Rights Reserved | |||
Stinky Twinkie Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204Dinwiddie |
CRYSTAL...I mean stephanie!!!!!!! holy mackeral that was beyond awesome. You've got a knack for this writing thing. Soon, our whole class is gonna be on here. That oughtta be fun. I cant wait for Nicole to get on here so I can 'criticize' her poems. seriously, that poem was killer, I wish I could be serious like that. I swear William just turned into a rabbit and chased me until I hit a brick wall. |
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Honey Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92Hot girl From Canada |
beautiful poem. you put forth a lot of emotions in this poem and i think thats what made it so good. good work It Feels As If I've Always Been Someone On The Outside Looking In. |
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lildevil Junior Member
since 2002-11-21
Posts 47missouri,usa |
good write it was so full of emotion and just wondering is this site a school project or what |
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stephanie Junior Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 33 |
umm...it was assigned as a school project but i joined about before is was assigned...and thank you for your comment |
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rxyfxy04 Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 54lil' town in Virginia |
hey tippy!! i love you girl.. and of course ALL your poetry. this one is really good.. alot of emotion!! RxyFxy04 |
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roxywrestlegirl04 Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 74good ole DINWIDDIE |
hey crystal.....i REALLY like this one...lotz of feelings! good job!! luv ya liz |
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Riley![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
I am not sure if I liked the first stanza, with all the a's and whatever. It seemed to take away from the poem. Maybe space them out a bit. Otherwise pretty good write ![]() Riley L. Grant Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you...... [This message has been edited by Riley (11-28-2002 12:57 PM).] |
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Skyfire![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Woah, the last stanza just got me. Thumbs up and welcome to Passions ![]() No, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
stephanie~ Very nicely penned first post. ![]() I enjoyed reading this and I hope to see lots more from you. Welcome to Passions! ![]() ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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