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Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

0 posted 2002-11-18 01:59 PM

The inkwell has dried up,
I throw myself against the wall again,
My eyes remain clouded,
And I cry dirty teardrops,
Teardrops of my hallowed out life and,
Teardrops of my rusted out dreams.
And it seems I've been left behind,
But I didn't even know who I was fallowing,
And everyone looks the same,
They left me behind anyway,
To grow old in this stagnant pond,
Of my dirty tears,
Fogotten as I try to forget,
My memories of my once happy life,
Because they just don't make sense anymore,
I don't live life happily-ever-after,
But ever-after-happy.

[This message has been edited by Darkness (11-19-2002 10:04 AM).]

wvplayernotreally
Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 215
yakima wa

1 posted 2002-11-18 08:27 PM

This was good. Wow alot of people talking about tears and eyes eh? I love the line-
"My memories of my once happy life,
Because they just don't make sense anymore,
I don't live life happily-ever-after,
But ever-after-happy."
good stuff...i enjoyed this one

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

2 posted 2002-11-18 10:22 PM

Thanks so much.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

3 posted 2002-11-25 01:13 AM

Darkness~
I really like this a lot.
Excellent job of expressing these emotions.
Very well done.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

PrincessNets
Member

since 2002-10-30

Posts 103
NewYork, USA

4 posted 2002-11-26 09:35 AM

I really liked this poem Dark! You have woderful expression. I wish I could express myself so passionately! Great write!

-Jeanette-

[This message has been edited by PrincessNets (11-26-2002 09:41 AM).]

Stinky Twinkie
Member

since 2002-11-26

Posts 204
Dinwiddie

5 posted 2002-11-26 10:20 AM

that was absolutely incredible. I am impressed with your writing ability. You're a genius. The whole "tear" thing was so original. I have never read anything like that before. I'm just giving you a hard time, it was good, seriously. Dont take my criticism to heart.

-Stinky Twinkie-

[This message has been edited by Stinky Twinkie (11-26-2002 04:07 PM).]

palmerj
Junior Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 30
Coxsackie, NY