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Teen Poetry #6
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can i ?
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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can i ? |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571
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can i take a moment of you precious time to tell you how i feel? can i steal a kiss from your soft lips tempting me in the night? can i embrace you with all my love and never let you go? can i say i love you? can i hold your hand as we walk along the street? can i begin to cry when you brek my heart?can i say i love you?can i look into your eyes as you wisper to me? can i be your one and only? can i say i love you? |
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| © Copyright 2002 Allison Colgrove - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Not bad, Devinechild. A lot of emotion here. If this is about you, I wish you all the best.  Parasite Learn to place poetry before people Before you place your poetry before the people. ~Andrey Kneller [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (09-21-2002 12:13 PM).] |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
thank u parasite i don`t get many compliments or good lucks. so thank u. |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
I really liked this. The emotion in it seemed very honest. I especially liked the repitition of the line "can i say i love you?" Good job.  *~erin~* "You write the lie you want to be when you're life looks like a book you wouldn't read."-Jets To Brazil |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I agree with LP. Great emotion. Jenn Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving? |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
nice one... Good luck.  is this all about him? i wonder... great job, keep writing. ~sara |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
yup.... it`s all about him sara....all about him |
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Match Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286Canada Edmonton |
Loved this, it was great and was full of emmotion. gooood luck with you and him, Hope it turns out ~*Azi*~ [This message has been edited by Match (09-21-2002 11:49 PM).] |
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