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Teen Poetry #6

my tainted thoughts

theSunflower
Junior Member

since 2002-11-17

Posts 11

0 posted 2002-11-17 11:17 AM

I am completely lost in you. Thinking about you has become a part of me, a sort of character flaw. You have become one of my personality traits. To think of a life without out you, is to think of living without an arm or a leg, a disability that I would never fully recover from. Just being without you now I feel hollow, even though I know that I am not alone, the emptiness consumes me more and more every second I am not able to breath you in. This hole inside of me clouds my thoughts. It is a veil over my ability to concentrate for any amount of time, on any subject that is not you. I can’t do anything, so I spend countless hours poking incessantly at these little black letters, filling numerous files with random thoughts, in a pathetic attempt to cure myself of the pain caused by loving you.

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

1 posted 2002-11-22 05:35 AM

hah like the way wrote the last few lines, about writing and filing everything. other than a small spelling error/typo, this was written pretty well. i especially liked this line:

quote:
Thinking about you has become a part of me, a sort of character flaw.

just a tip, if you want more people to read your work, read and reply to their work as well.

most take notice of that.

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

Getting away, isn't Running away.

"The hurt that you try to hide, is killing me."

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