A Modest Proposal - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #6

A Modest Proposal

fulanodetal3684
Junior Member

since 2001-10-10

Posts 19

0 posted 2002-11-16 06:55 PM

I propose we contemplate ourselves
within the channeled walls if we must

I propose we should die for awhile
let us take to the hill and stay

I propose we liberate a country
let us lead a revolution, let us be saved

I propose we pray solemnly
let us ripe the fonnicle

I propose we fold the edges
let us stir the waters, let us be fickle

I propose we entangle the swing's rope
let us be children, let us be innocent

I propose we barely cope with our hands
the inmensity that is to be someone else

I propose we be fine creatures
let us be recreated, let us be sculpted, let us be painted

I propose we be coincidence in the street
let us be tamed, let us be metaphors

I propose we be circumstance
let us be small, so small not to fit in God's hand

I propose we be served of a virginal idea
let us meditate our sins, let us be sinisters, let us rape any innocent thought, let us realize

I propose we be of blasphemy to our verb
let us conjugate the verb in varied forms, let us be of tenses, let us construct sentences, let us be a writer

Winston Froom
Junior Member

since 2001-11-28

Posts 32

1 posted 2002-11-16 09:32 PM

A fine poem indeed! This is full of beauty not only context-wise, as all your poems are, but also metric-wise, which is great to see in your poetry. I am thrilled to see you writing like this. I sense you and Zero will be the Lennon/McCartney parallel; and if I can write as half as good as George Harrison then it'll be over. Again, great poem, keep writing!

-WF.

boy and his spirit
Junior Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 41
within my heart

2 posted 2002-11-16 11:57 PM

(edited by moderator)it wasnt bad!
I liked it, it was quirky.
love the "rhyme" scheme.

[This message has been edited by vlraynes (11-19-2002 06:03 PM).]

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.