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Teen Poetry #6
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lil cherry
Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86
Ont, Can.

0 posted 2002-11-14 07:07 PM


They stare at her
Their mouths almost visibly watering
Tongues practically hanging out
Fantasies roaming their minds

She giggles, flashes a smile,
Pushes her hair back
Continues gingerly putting on more lipstick

They aren’t looking at her smile though
They’re gaze plunges somewhere else
Only rarely glancing up at her face

She knows what they’re thinking
She knows where they’re looking
She encourages it
She is dressed to please

One built up the nerve to talk to her
With one hand on the locker
She’s all his
He tells her a joke

She giggles again
Knowing how good she looks
She hopes he’ll ask her out

The other guys stare in envy
All their attention is on her beauty
Hoping they stand a chance against him

She gazes into his gorgeous eyes
Moving her body in close
Her chest almost touching him
She touches his arm

He finally asks the big question
He wants this beauty on his arm
He’ll be the envy of the school

She smiles, blushes
And of course says yes
Leaning in close,
She kisses him on the cheek
Letting her touch be soft on his skin

Some walk away sad and disappointed
They walk away together
But did anyone ever notice the girl crying in the corner?


© Copyright 2002 Angel - All Rights Reserved
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
1 posted 2002-11-15 10:20 AM


ouch, the ending just hit me hard
that is the strongest line in the whole poem
it carries the most meaning
beautifully done, i hope to see more
thanks for sharing

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.


Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
2 posted 2002-11-15 11:16 PM


Wow, all I was thinking about popular girls that i am not( I think ) and the ending surprised me. Thanks for the read.


Ri

~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~

[This message has been edited by Riley (11-15-2002 11:19 PM).]

boy and his spirit
Junior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 41
within my heart
3 posted 2002-11-17 12:48 PM


I did like this. Cause it deals with sluts, and sluts are cool.
but actually. it was a really good poem. But I just thought of all those stereotypes of pretty,popular girls like the one you talked about, and its this big idea of how highschool are, but at my highschool there is no girl like that. Is there actual girls like that in high school?

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
4 posted 2002-11-17 04:15 AM


first of all boy and his spirit can i ask where ur from??? Cause I think there is a girl like this in every school unless ur from a little town. And I dont think sluts are cool cause they give all females bed reputations. But it figures u have to be a male to think that.

lil cherry~This was a great poem. I could just picture this. I havent really been replying to poems but im glad im taking the time tonight cause this was worth reading. And im looking forward to see more work by you.


~if you want something very badly set it free, if it comes back to you its yours forever, if it doesnt it was never yours to begin with~

[This message has been edited by Erin (11-17-2002 04:17 AM).]

Peach
Junior Member
since 2002-11-17
Posts 33

5 posted 2002-11-17 04:48 PM


I love this poem. It is so true it makes me sad. It makes me want to start looking for 'the girl crying in the corner.' Great job...Keep writing more.

If don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

6 posted 2002-11-17 04:51 PM


I understand how it feels, not because it happens to me, but because I see it happen a lot...

"Sticks and stones will break my bones,
But words will break my heart"

wvplayernotreally
Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215
yakima wa
7 posted 2002-11-17 04:58 PM


Wow thats totally highschool. Sucks eh? Your way of describing was amazing. I would like to hear something about that girl though. Crying...I dunno i think it would be cool to go into depth about each of the characters

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

Surreal
Junior Member
since 2002-10-21
Posts 35
Paris
8 posted 2002-11-18 05:33 AM


This was really strong, I thought the ending was such a great form of closure.  Simple but with a twist at the end.... very nice.  

Glory is a silent thing-- Mineral

boy and his spirit
Junior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 41
within my heart
9 posted 2002-11-18 07:11 PM


Erin:
I live in a fairly large city and my school has 400 students, and there is no girl like that at all.
And it figures you being a female and all to think that about sluts, too.

lil cherry
Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86
Ont, Can.
10 posted 2002-11-18 08:35 PM


I live in a small town and my school has 1400 students cuz they're from all over the area.  I don't know if there was one girl in my mind when i wrote this or just the "popular" girls in general.  It seems like unless you're popular or super gorgeous in the stereotypical  kinda way then you're just not going to get the attention that you might deserve by being a good person.  Just seems to me like way too much focus in the media and even in school events is on the "pretty people" and the outcasts and the people with true inner strength just get brushed aside.  I changed schools this year and it's taking me a long time to ajust to the idea of people considering me "cool" but i never let myself forget what it was like to be the outcast.
lil cherry
Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86
Ont, Can.
11 posted 2002-11-18 08:35 PM


the main point of this poem was for people to picture themself as one of the characters and then also be able to see another side.

[This message has been edited by lil cherry (11-18-2002 08:37 PM).]

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
12 posted 2004-05-07 12:09 PM


Twisted. I like it. I love it when people twist the ending like that. Amazing write.. once again.

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

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