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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain 
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starting from the end and telling you the beginning why? the most evil of all words it chokes most stops people in their tracks " All i heard was a scream , and then.... " of course the voices trails off daughters seeped in blood laying 'cross each other upon their deaths they called out no one is ever there all expected and going as planned smiles creep slowly across them go away please leave the ropes grow tighter both children's voices grow tight as the men gaze evil thats all they know have known and will ever know scared? the gallop of horses do you hear sister long black hair flowing together engulfing them the wood is burnt as flames creep each sits one reading the other dreaming the reader? challenged with everyday things scared at times never confident the dreamer always ready confident and perfect the kind everyone wants to be which is the reason for she dreams this is their explanation of that night of their death no it wasn't written it twas told to me directly from each girls rosey lips thick and full speaking each word and every one is true starting from the beginning and telling you the end ~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~ |
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| © Copyright 2002 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Hmm... I'm not sure what to think about this one... I like it in a hauntingly disturbing way, and yet... it does really disturb me... That could be a good thing though, I just haven't decided yet :/ I am a Knight who says Ni! |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This is so different... the storyline really intrigued me and caught my attention, and the way you wrote it was perfect. Lots of good character descriptions and just enough visual imagery to give me something to picture. Your unique language kept my attention held the whole way... truly a great piece, Riley. One of your more thoughtful poems, for sure. Although I have to admit I didn't really care for the first and last lines. They seemed a bit unnecessary. Still, this is some brilliant, creative poetry. Parasite Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Brian: The reason for the first and last lines is because I started from the end and told the beginning and so forth and so on. Thanks for reading  Ri ~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~ |
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