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Teen Poetry #6
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Forever England (Paradelle)
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Forever England (Paradelle) |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
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Forever England Brave old boys of England Brave old boys of England Follow to your death Follow to your death Follow your brave England Boys of old to death Glory found in heaven Glory found in heaven Honour shone in our hearts Honour shone in our hearts In Glory, honour shone Found heaven in our hearts Nameless men are dying Nameless men are dying Pride of our false idols Pride of our false idols False pride of dying men Nameless are our idols Brave men hearts of old Follow your false pride In death our boys of honour Dying are our idols To heaven found in England Glory shone nameless It is customary for us English to remember our great heroes and veterans on Rememberance Sunday (the sunday closest to Nov 11) and on November 11th. It is on this/these days that we take a two minute silence and remember what our great grandfathers, grandfathers and fathers sacrificed for us in the Great War and the Second World War, so that we could live in freedom. All around Britain, in towns and villages up and down the country we hold rememberance services for those men and boys who defended our country with their lives. Lest we forget Insert Sig here |
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| © Copyright 2002 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rimmie Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
Well I enjoyed the over all theme but have to say that the stile was rather dull. I didnt care much for the repeting lines. But I really did like the last verse espesially the lines "Follow your false pride In death our boys of honour" I thought them to be very powerfull and well writen. Good Job, ~RuZ~ [This message has been edited by rimmie (11-10-2002 05:16 PM).] |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
And you wonder why I won't attempt a paradelle. Geeze, I have you to compare myself to  Anyway... I dont' have much to say to this, cause even though we have our two minute silence tomorrow it made me appreciate all that I've got that our boys fought for... Canadian, British, and American. Lest we forget indeed |
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wvplayernotreally Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215yakima wa |
This is good. a lot of people don't take time to remember what has happened over the years. You have a soft voice while being firm on what you know and believe. I can really appreciate that " I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking." |
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clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
I think this style is one that requires strong lines. And frankly I don't see any very strong lines. I commend you for trying this style, but would urge you to dissect each line and make them stand alone because each line almost has to in this format. Casey |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
awesome.  You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see,but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
You really made this difficult style work for you, my friend. This is a wonderfully written piece... it's strange how people are willing to die for an idea, a nation.. but sometimes it doesn't seem so strange at all. Wonderful work!  Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Andrew~ Not only have you mastered this form, but you've also done a great job of using it to convey a very important reminder for us all. This is something that we should all remember not only today, but every day. "Lest we forget"...Amen, my friend. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
**Praise** Laura "I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful." |
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Jester Junior Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 41The dark corners of your mind |
this is the first time i've ever come across this style. Its very intriguing... it would be fun to attempt i think...maybe make an interesting challenge. Nice job focusing on the important issue of remembering the men who fought for something their country believed in. Every line struck me because i am currently studying literature about the first world war and this fits right in. Thanx for the read. Jester I am your God, will you kill me now or shall I be continually suicidal? |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thank you all for your wonderful comments. Andrew |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Not bad at all, Andrew. I have to agree with Casey (ACK! I hate doing that) and say that your lines could have been a bit stronger in most places. The last stanza was the only one that really bugged me, but don't worry man, I've written paradelles and understand how much of a bitch the last stanza is... You know, you're really good at this style... you probably churn these out in like ten minutes at a time or something. I bet you're great at jigsaw puzzles. Parasite Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
Don't we all hate agreeing with Casey.... wait I am Casey. Urgh, now I'm confused. Casey |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
LOL @ Casey agreeing with you isn't THAT bad, it's just that Brian has a hard time agreeing with anyone... wait, that's Javir... Now I'M all confused I am a Knight who says Ni! |
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