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Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2002-11-10 12:25 PM

I used to be able to hear
your voice
from the rest of the crowd.

But now I can't hear
your voice
the silence is so loud.

Now please, come back
and say those magical words
that I used to hear
you whisper...

I would think of
your voice
and fall into my dreams.

And now all my fears are of
your voice
as fake as it seems.

Now please, come back
and save my dreams from all
those fears and maybe
you can see....

Now I never get to hear
your voice
so this is what I ask.....

All the lies that
your voice
uses, how does it last?...

You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see,but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-11-10 01:39 AM

Oh, terrific, Staci... the repetition is fully clever and I love how you used it in a different context every time. The stanzas of the second type were well composed and helped to keep the redundancy of the repetition to a minimum.

I also love how the title is regarded by the repeated line. Very cool.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

Force of Nature
New Member

since 2002-11-10

Posts 2

2 posted 2002-11-10 02:12 AM

Nice post.

rimmie
Junior Member

since 2002-08-09

Posts 45
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

3 posted 2002-11-10 08:03 AM

I really like the style and the content was outstanding!!! Great job!

~RuZ~

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

4 posted 2002-11-10 12:03 PM

All the lies that
your voice
uses, how does it last?...

Oh my Gosh, this is so great! The entire poem is very good (I love the style!) but this line is just the best. It hurts to be lied to... thats what I'm going through right now. I hope everything works out! Good work.

Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

5 posted 2002-11-10 11:58 PM

thank u, i'm glad u all liked this!

You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see,but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.

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