Teen Poetry #6 |
"Game in Blue" (Challenge #2) |
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Crooked smiles joined with laughter Hung up high for all to see Amid the sounds of shame, come after Sighs of blushing…bittersweet. Instant longings for a waiter Never granted, never known Greet the sun with heartless favor Rain as all, as all have shown, Among the peasants, lords and fools. Incandescent lights for you. Nothing but a game in blue. * * * * * Ugh...x_X How I hate my muse. C is an evil hideous letter to start with. I've ruined my own screenname. Ahh...the freshness of humiliation. ^_^; I'll live. Leah |
||
© Copyright 2002 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
OI! Don't hate your muse - it's a good little friend to have. Can I be honest? While it is well writen I feel that having to write within such a constricted format, it didn't have the same appeal of your other pieces. I do like the last line though. How adequate. ~AF~ Don't steal - the Government hates competition. |
||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
You did this rather well, Leah. I like the format that you chose, how you worked it so easily into the challenge criteria. The interlocking rhyme was very effective. The way you chose to end it worked out very nicely, and I did enjoy this a great deal. Parasite Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
||
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Leah~ I really like this a lot. I love the way you actually stuck to a rhyme scheme thoughout. That's often difficult to do with this style. Very nicely done, and challenge well met! Hope to see you on the next one. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
||
aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
And now to my other favorite from so long ago, you. I liked this but I have to agree with anonymousfemale in that this was not one of your better pieces. I guess that's a compliment in a way since I still liked this one quite a bit. ex animo, Aaron Woodside There are no great men, only men in great circumstances. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |