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Hallucination
Member

since 2001-03-18

Posts 419

0 posted 2002-11-09 09:15 AM

"I Didn't Mean To"
(08/11/02)
© 2002 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved

Verse 1
Was it something that I said,
That made the pain grow in size?
Was it something that I did,
That drew out tears in your eyes?
Made you hide your face in your hands,
I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to.

Verse 2
Was it the way I acted,
That drove all your dreams in two?
Was it the way that I loved,
That painted your heartstrings blue?
And closed the door forever more,
I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to.

Lift
To be everything you told me you didn't need,
I'm sorry I was too blind to see.
To be everything that you have been running from,
I'm sorry I couldn't be the one.

Verse 3
Was it things I didn't keep,
Like promises and secrets?
Was it how I couldn't show,
What was inside my heart and head?
Just how much I really loved you,
I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to.

Bridge
I tried but failed,
I really wanted to do good.
The ship has sailed,
I really wish it just would.
Dock one more time,
And give this harbor one more chance,
I didn't mean to...

Lift
To be everything you told me you didn't need,
I'm sorry I was too blind to see.
To be everything that you have been running from,
I'm sorry I couldn't be the one.

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

1 posted 2002-11-09 04:23 PM

Hallucination-

Seems like you have a knack for songwriting. ^^ Gives the forums a little more variety, don't you think?

My favorite verse would have to be Verse 2:

"Was it the way I acted,
That drove all your dreams in two?
Was it the way that I loved,
That painted your heartstrings blue?
And closed the door forever more,
I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to."

The fourth line...really liked the image there. ^_^ T'was pretty.

One small, insignificant critique- When you put in "verse 1" or "bridge" or anything that identifies the stanza as a certain part of a song, it'd be nice if there was a space between that and the actual verse/bridge, etc., or bold it to make it stand out. Like this:

Verse 3

Was it things I didn't keep,
Like promises and secrets?

And so on and so forth. It just got a bit confusing. ^^ Other than that, I really enjoyed reading this. ^_^ Thanks!

Leah

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2002-11-10 01:03 AM

oh yeah Leah, this guy's our resident songwriter. I'm still waiting to see him post mp3s.

Nicely written... very sorrowful, yes, but I like the variety between the verses/lifts.

Great work here, Eggy.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

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