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Le Capitan de L'Amour
Member

since 2000-07-15

Posts 60

0 posted 2002-09-20 10:01 AM

You!, connoisseur of my thoughts, of my dewy dreams, of my wish to beseech for your love.

With this weapon on your hands, I was in awe of you trying to abash me or to raze my soul.

But although I wanted to persist I had to desist from my devotion I had towards you, you!, my comely girl that was so dire to kindle me in rapture.

But I realized that you were my worst vice, but the fickle fervor I had inside of me, didn’t let me gnarl my passion that I had towards you.

You vaunt me, but I made you disregard this thoughts, I really didn’t want to extort you either, I wanted you with me, I tried to abate you, to get you to join my coon of love, my coon of infinite nirvana.

As I finally have the courage to leave you, I realize that you are my true love, because you are the connoisseur of my life!

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-09-20 02:17 PM

This isn't half bad.

I like the use of exclaimation points, it helped the tone flow nicely along.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

LadyDracaWolf
Member

since 2002-09-19

Posts 73
CA

2 posted 2002-09-20 05:54 PM

Possibly one of the oddest poems I've seen yet...but none too badly written. Keep it up!!

Death is not extinguishing the light;
it is putting out the lamp
because the dawn has come.

Rabindranath Tagore
Poet, Philosopher, Nobel Laurea

Le Capitan de L'Amour
Member

since 2000-07-15

Posts 60

3 posted 2002-09-25 09:44 AM

In this poem you might need to know that the meaning of connosseur is the Judge!, and you might also need a dictionary in order to understand the text.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2002-10-11 01:26 PM

No dictionary needed here kind fellow

Well written.

This message has been brought to you by the letter 'Y'

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

5 posted 2002-10-12 02:02 AM

neither did i need a dictionary.

but i do think you need a reality check.

your ego is about to explode.

/jen/

i just haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.

[the closest thing i've found to heaven is sitting here talking to you.bif naked]

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