»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #6
»
goodnight nuria
| Teen Poetry #6 |
|
goodnight nuria |
|
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz 
|
I love when no one knows me - Walking through the chaos numb. [There are a thousand ways to sidestep me]. Masquerade empty autumn. Through the ball room we’re dancing. Now the fall is gone. Aching ears have played too strong, cellists hum to silent hymns. And dancers leap as chinadolls cry. [There are a thousand ways to sidestep me]. /jen/ what if they gave a war, and nobody came... [This message has been edited by quietlydying (11-05-2002 09:00 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 jennifer elizabeth - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
i forgot two quick things. 1] this poem was inspired by a song i heard a while back. and one of the main lines was 'there's a thousand ways to side step me'. this is not plagirism, just merely the use of one line from a song, after being tweaked to be grammatically correct. AND... 2] you may not be seeing much of me around here in the next little while. it's a long story, but things aren't going very well at all and i need to focus my energies on staying out of the hospital and trying to get better. i won't be gone completely, just not posting much in the near future. best of luck to all. until we meet again... /jen/ what if they gave a war, and nobody came... [This message has been edited by quietlydying (11-05-2002 08:02 PM).] |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
 Chin up, kid. I like the repetition, especially the way you didnt use it as being the first and last thing you said. *grrr* hate when people do that. quote: Haunting...I can imagine that happening. Come back quickly alrighty? If not, I'll see you msn  Are you scared? |
||
|
dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
hey, this was pretty good, i liked it ~sam~ !respect the alphabet! |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
It's beautiful - you didn't plagarize anything and what you've done with it is very good. Take care of yourself. We'll be praying for you and the door here stays open. The light is always on and our arms are always open to welcome you home.  |
||
|
foreverwithyou Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204Wonderland |
hey i liked this it was go0d and dont stay away too long !!!  "I am who I am who I am who am I?" |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
*thinks* Ok, I did like this but it's got me thinking things that really shouldn't be thought. It's good to see you've got the brackets up there again, I love it when you add them.  quote: That bit stuck out the most...you take care of yourself, ok?  Me. Consider yourself added to the hitlist. |
||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Playing music while you write poetry is bad news... so is modelling after a song. Try to keep away from that...  Otherwise, liked the poem. Was disappointed to find out that the line was something from a song because I really like what it did to wrap everything up at the end... ah well. Still enjoyed the piece very much. Parasite |
||
|
devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
I loved it. We will miss u Jen. *Allison* |
||
|
NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
Very nice write. And definitely try to stay away from that haunting, smelly building!=-P Best of luck to you, be seein ya around. Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job. |
||
|
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
brian, i never modelled it after a song. the word inspiration came to be for a reason. let's just say i was 'inspired'. /jen/ what if they gave a war, and nobody came... |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Jen~ I REALLY love this piece, and, like Cherish, I particularly loved these lines... "And dancers leap as chinadolls cry." Excellent imagery and yes...somewhat haunting. as well. I wish you the best of everything, Jen. Good luck to you and don't wander too far.  Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Jen~ Wanting to hear that you're okay~ Too long you've been gone~ I emailed you ...~ This is as lovely now ... as it was then~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*No matter what I search for ... |
||
|
Ace of Crimson Tears Junior Member
since 2006-03-03
Posts 14United States |
That poem was great I loved it! I'll be keeping an eye out for anything new. ~Ace of Crimson Tears~ Aka Matt |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
BOO! Are you now?
