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Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

0 posted 2002-09-19 11:37 PM

The feeling,
Numbness through your legs,
Fingers tingle,
You know what the doctor said was just true,
How were you so stupid?
How were you so dumb?
Why did it have to be you?
The words he said you know they were true,
Around and around like a record player,
Feeling it growing inside,
This is going to be one hell of a ride.
"I'm just fourteen",
"I didn't mean......",
The tears they stream and you know you're all,
alone.

~*Azi*~

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-09-20 11:05 AM

This is dark. I like the scattered rhyme and formatting, it matches the theme perfectly.

If this is about you, then there are a lot of options available to you, you know... you might consider getting in touch with a Planned Parenthood centre, or some equivelant. If you live in a city, this should be easy for you to find.

At any rate, good poem.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

2 posted 2002-09-20 11:18 AM

Well done, I liked this. My first post was a poem about teen pregnancy (While You Were Out), and it's a subject that rings true. If this is about you, good luck, and kep writing.
EleanorMoonbaby *)

In the beginning, the Universe was made. This has angered a lot of people and has been widely regarded as a bad move- Douglas Adams

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

3 posted 2002-09-20 11:52 PM

Interesting write, Ashley. Teen pregnancy is hard to get into the right format/feel etc but you seem to have done a pretty good job on it. The addition of speaking tones really boosted it. Hopefully this isn't about you but there are always options if it is.

Take care of yourself and thanks for the read.

~AF~

"No wonder I do not make people comfortable. I am a mirror. I have far too many things to say." - Mouthing the Words

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