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Teen Poetry #6
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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Broken |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
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My life is scattered on the floor In little pieces all around On my knees I scrape it for Some symbolance of what I had found I'm cut and bleeding, but still I dig For that is all I know to do I still don't know the moves I made The things I said to make it wrong I don't know how I made it break But now I'm lost, I have no song I use my nails to pick the shards They stick into my hands... and stay Thats how it is, thats how it goes When your life is scattered out The highs were good, but now it's LOW I dig up pieces with a shout For they are stuck into my flesh Forever will the shards remain Whenever I press on the spot I'll always feel the same old pain... Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
You will find your song again. That's a promise. God bless!  Oh, and great poem too. --Beth Howl at the stars, whisper when you're sleeping, I'll be there to hold you, I'll be there to stop the chills and all the weeping. |
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ashley Junior Member
since 2002-10-31
Posts 10U.S. |
This poem shows me that you have a depressing life and your poetry is your way of reaching out and releasing your pain in your writing. It was very truthful and honest The previous is a fact that came from a Harvard Law student so it is the truth lawyers never lie. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Erica~ I've read this several times now, and each time it hits me harder than the last. I don't even have the words to tell you how deeply this touches me. It just aches. Not only is this an extremely emotional write, but it is exceptionally well-written as well. You have always been a very talented writer, but you seem to be writing on a whole new level now, and I am truly impressed. I believe that you are doing some of your best writing right now, and I look forward to lots more. I wish you all the best, my friend.  Hugs,  ~Vicky P.S. Don't forget to check out Teen Challenge #2! "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Wow. Erica, I must say that I absolutely love this one. It's just wowing... definately a piece for the library Please keep writing, because if you don't, I won't have the enjoyment of reading your work.I'm so cute! |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Erica - Splendid work... just terrific... Loved the choice of meter, made the poem flow very quickly and with great solidarity... every line twisting and turning into the next... It went extremely well with the theme of the piece. This is a wonderful write, definitely one of the best I have read from you. I felt the emotion ripping through me in a frenzy of flung iambs... slapping me in the face like a spoonful of green peas at the dinner table. Very, very good. My library entry for the day. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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