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Teen Poetry #6

Guiltless

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

0 posted 2002-10-28 09:13 PM

I wash my hands in the sink
No idea what to think
Bloodsoaked hands
Washed clean
No guilty feelings
Thoughts jostled in my mind
Only one I cant find
Please make everyone go away
I hate this world and I dont want to stay
No smiles come from this face
I hate this place
I forgot how to laugh

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

1 posted 2002-10-28 09:58 PM

Eh...nicely incriminating, but mirrored my thoughts pretty well.

Watch out!

Are you scared? BOO! Are you now?

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2002-10-29 03:11 PM

Nicely done. I like the shorter lines at the end, the way you did that really effectively speeds up the reading pace.

Good work.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

foreverwithyou
Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 204
Wonderland

3 posted 2002-10-29 07:33 PM

I dont have anything to help u with this one it is good as it is

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

4 posted 2002-10-30 04:26 PM

THsi isnt bout killin anybody....in case thats what some ppl thought. LOL
*Allison*

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member

since 2002-07-02

Posts 439
I am everywhere

5 posted 2002-11-02 03:28 PM

I like the way your thoughts were mixed in with your poem.. it blends well.
a quite tragic poem though..
good write.

I got a hug!!

(and he has the prettiest eyes.. and when he was inhaling the pizza.... lol- i'm done man)

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