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devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

0 posted 2002-10-25 10:44 PM

She stands with blonde hair flowing
On the shore of the bay
Waiting for her lover
Wondering if he`ll come back someday

The icy wind blows the bitter smell of salt into her face
Translucent body
Life was gone
Struck dead with a broken heart
No warmth to sooth her

The hearth burnt out
Black ashes sitting cold
Old home abandoned
Shutters and doors nailed shut

Left alone
Waiting until eternity
For a lost love
That will never come......

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member

since 2002-07-02

Posts 439
I am everywhere

1 posted 2002-10-25 10:49 PM

OMG.. i don't know why.. but this reminds me of Titanic..

OH YEA!!!
that old lady was all
"and the people left int he boats had nothing to do.. wait to die, wait to live.. wait for an absolution which would never come".. yea, that's why!!

But good, write,g ood write..
this wasn't like your other writings, it seems,... i don't know- more mature, maybe?
Ugh, ignore me.
But listen whne i say it's not gay, like u said.
Keep writing!!!

(wait... did she say absolution?? I don't know)

"All are unnecessary evils of a dying republic. We must *write* these wrongs"
~Otep

foreverwithyou
Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 204
Wonderland

2 posted 2002-10-26 04:40 PM

liked this yo liked this

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-10-27 11:42 AM

Lately you've been using a lot more imagery in your writing, and I really think it suits you... you've found your poetic "niche," and all you have to do now is stomp around and make it yours.

Very well done. You're truly developing as a writer.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

4 posted 2002-10-27 07:54 PM

wow! This is a great poem! it tells so much! From your sis Chrissy

dinky
Member

since 2002-10-19

Posts 258

5 posted 2002-10-28 05:25 PM

this one was awesome!!!
grrrrrrreat write!(i hate frosted flakes or w/e the cereal it is where they have tony the tiger, i think that is his name but back to the point, i dont like frosted flakes)
oops sry i kind of wrote bout frosted flakes but this was really really good
i liked it a lot
~sam~

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