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dinky
Member

since 2002-10-19

Posts 258

0 posted 2002-10-23 05:23 PM

tune me in on what your talking about
there aint no reason to scream or shout
i just want to know whats going on
you dont have to do silly little pranks to get my attention,
silly little pranks that i wont even mention
dont walk out on me now,
our relationship's only just begun
yea we had a little fight,
but everything will be alright
just dont leave,
because we disagree
stay with me,
help me sort things out,
no reason to scream or shout

foreverwithyou
Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 204
Wonderland

1 posted 2002-10-23 05:30 PM

ok here goes...this one I liked but not nearly as much as the others I love your other poems and keep wrighting!

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member

since 2002-07-02

Posts 439
I am everywhere

2 posted 2002-10-23 05:39 PM

I enjoyed...
the alphabet activity we did in Science today.
lol.
Today we ahd to do this thign with the Alphabet and "the fighting irish of notre dame", yea.. it was strange.
Anyway- I enjoyed thisvery much.

I like how you stated the same thing at the end... cool man!!

(she didn't tell Andy. I didn't want het to. I figured things would be easier without him knowing)

"All are unnecessary evils of a dying republic. We must <I>write</I> these wrongs"
~Otep

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

3 posted 2002-10-23 06:26 PM

Sam! great job! i really liked this. very powerful. each line was very effective

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

4 posted 2002-10-23 07:21 PM

Hey,

Ok here goes nothing....

I liked the rhyming thing, ( although I don't rhyme to much anymore ), and also the grammer....I love the ain't thing you got going.

But you mentioned the title twice throughout the poem...maybe a different title or another line. Also you mentioned silly little pranks twice in a row.

Otherwise...its seemed good. It flowed pretty well. Good write.

Riley

~*I'm not gonna say I'm gorgeous, that for you to decide, if you really wanna know me, see the world through my eyes*~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2002-10-25 03:52 PM

We've all been there. You expressed yourself well on this one.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

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