Teen Poetry #6 |
Only For You |
Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
can you tell that i am scared shaking underneath you i shall bow down to your majesty my sweet love and for you only as only you will ever know and friends a bit redundent on my part i admit i am sorry for everything that happened but for now my heart is still safe from the binding with have held it struggling against my mind to tell you my secret that has kept itself together for long now for it is fallin apart quickly help pull me back safe in your arms for a time please help me my sweetness and you know that i will always stay true to you how do you know that trueness will be there because friends never betray friends as i shall never do to you until the day my being goes from existence i fear that you will not be there on time to catch my falling action i shake and tremble watching my own emotional death come closer and closer to my weaking stands no my love you are drifting away on a piece of solid ice may it not melt away in fear of losing you once again i grasp for your hand now i feel the warm skin on mine as your hand slowly slips and grips i hope for now i am safe once again wrapped up in your arms your sweet tender arms your loving wanting arms your secret waiting arms for the first time ~*Theres a sparkle in your eye that only i see, and theres a place in your heart where only i wanna be*~ [This message has been edited by Riley (09-18-2002 07:33 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
This oozed with emotion. I especially loved the stanza "No my love you are drifting away on a piece of solid ice may it not melt away in fear of losing you once again i grasp for you hand." That was really special. Only one little idea, punctuation may help it flow a little easier. But other than that, I thought it was a very emotional read. Good work ~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~ |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I'd have to agree on punctuation, it's something I found myself thinking of throughout. Other than that, I'm quite impressed once more. You're starting to show a very powerful talent for poetry that can only have come from a life lived in great emotional conflict. While my heart goes out to you and all you've experienced, my thumb goes up to you and all you write. Fantastic work here again. You're a tulip in full bloom, in this forum. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Thank you all for replying, and parasite, I have been through so much and yet it is just getting started. I wish so bad I could just tell him how i feel and get it over with but I can't. I just can't. I have no strength to do anything like that. Ri ~*Theres a sparkle in your eye that only i see, and theres a place in your heart where only i wanna be*~ |
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