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Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-10-19 09:54 PM

cankering nature
big eyes spread wide open
are you scared yet?
he's going to get you
promise
no not really
look a piece of paper
( by the way this is all really wierd )
I'm not myself i promise
look at the pretty colors
wowie i'm falling
down an endless infinaity
or how ever you spell that
ouch i fell
i hit my head
mommie it hurts so bad
help me daddie
the ghosts are gonna get me
i'm running now
fastly fast
i hear a scream
its mine
help me please
i don't know whats happening
it'll all be ok
i am not a pshyco
or what ever it is
i am perfectly alright
thats my doctors analysis

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-10-20 01:30 AM

nice writing! you've done your usual thing and captured a state of mind as a theme in your writing.

Nicely done. Reminds me of Joyce in some places.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

2 posted 2002-10-20 01:49 AM

Riley~
You already know my initial reaction to this one.
I really enjoyed the style of this and the
way it was kind of..hmmm...psychotic...lol.
You made me laugh and smile with this piece,
and that's ALWAYS a good thing.
Nicely done.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

3 posted 2002-10-20 10:10 AM

Well done missy! You've captured the essence of psychosis very well in this, I love the randomness of it all! Thankies!
Ellie

"Last night, I had a dream that I went to the doctors, and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd spent thirty minutes in the f***ing waiting room"- S

NSnaomian
Member

since 2002-07-22

Posts 232
In my troll closet I be

4 posted 2002-10-20 11:13 AM

I enjoyed this, it's quite bizarre and in a way I like the way you go about it. =-)
Grrrrrreat
~Laura~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2002-10-21 10:43 AM

Well if you're alright, then I'm alright.
Muchly appreciated.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

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