FADED - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

0 posted 2002-10-19 11:56 AM

Eyes glazed over.
World gone,
HAZY.
No feeling,
Still numb,
Without YOU.
Smiles not mine,
Looking Happy,
NOTHING.
Alone,
Dead
Sadness like the wind,
Takes away my
BREATHE.
Can't see,
Need to see
You used to be my GLASSES.
What happened to me?
I went away,
With the mush of fall
LEAVES.
Returning with a layer of
ICE.
You,
The summer long
FADED.

~*Azi*~

[This message has been edited by Match (10-19-2002 04:39 PM).]

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2002-10-19 04:39 PM

I really liked this poem a lot man. The style of it rocked. The way you wrote it was great. Much power in this poem young padawan. very well written. Hope to see more sometimes soon!

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

2 posted 2002-10-19 04:41 PM

Neat, I love this!

Ri

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

3 posted 2002-10-19 04:44 PM

Thank you

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

4 posted 2002-10-19 05:13 PM

hey, he called you a padwan... what a jerk

oh - I love this style, I guess you're trying new stuff out hm? This really suits you extremely well. The capitalized words emitted some really raw power... hehe... a treat for the eyes while I was reading, surely.

I am in love with this part:

quote:
Can't see,
Need to see
You used to be my GLASSES.
What happened to me?
I went away,
With the mush of fall
LEAVES.

Great work! You've impressed me with this one.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

5 posted 2002-10-24 04:08 PM

Match~
This is a very cool poem.
I really enjoyed the overall style of this.
It is powerfully written and you expressed
the emotions very well.
Great write!
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

6 posted 2002-10-24 04:23 PM

i really liked this one. perhaps you should quickly omit the e on breathe as it could potentially be a little confusing for readers. as adding one tiny letter makes it a different word. but oh well.

nice job.

/jen/

what if they gave a war, and nobody came...

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.