Teen Poetry #6 |
Cold World |
WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
This one is somewhat different from my usual, I think. Don't take me from this place though I do nothing but weep here it was so cold in the world today everyone so consumed in themselves All I wanted was some comfort what I received was so many cold-shoulders this hurt is seeping deeper into my bones it's all I can feel now, it's taking control. I wish these tears could drain me into oblivion Im so empty already Im forgetting so many things this shadow is covering my memory and I've forgotten that I used to be happier. I wish I could scream so loud that everyone could hear me and feel some small bit of my pain but it just keeps welling up inside. Im letting go of the one who knew me without saying goodbye I just can't believe Im doing this my head knows the logical reason why but my heart doesn't understand. Im weeping endlessly, let me float away on the river of my tears I've never felt so alone before, let me float away on the river of my tears and leave this cold world behind me. and no, that last line isn't about suicide. thanks for reading. WinterWren Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. [This message has been edited by WinterWren (09-19-2003 01:19 AM).] |
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Nia New Member
since 2003-09-18
Posts 4Canada |
Hey I like it! Lol I don't think I would have thought the last line was about suicide even if you hadn't said anythin. It has a powerful ending which is really good and a strong opening. Good work!! |
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Inioth Junior Member
since 2003-09-18
Posts 12Calgary, Alberta |
This was another great poem....you and nia are quite good at this....I think I have to work on mine a lot more.....it was so descriptive....I don't know what else to say but great job....keep writing I'd like to read more of your stuff |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Thanks for the comments. They mean alot to me! Nia: Glad you liked it, and understood the last line. Inioth: Thank you so very much! lol, I think yours are just fine. If you want, you can do a "smart search" and look up my older poems. WinterWren |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
wow, that was a really great one.truly good. i loved the pictures stuck in my head from it.great, great job |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
Like usual, great work! Lots of emotions were expressed...I like one a lot! ~Jess "Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse |
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