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Teen Poetry #6
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baby
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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baby |
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angel eyez New Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 3 |
baby ilove you, and i know you love me too. i love being by your side and feeling the warmth of your lovely touch. you treat me with so much tenderness anyone would want to be in my place. i'm happy it's me and no other girl, being with you is like being in heaven and with no need of anything else. baby i would do anything to be with u. i'll tell my parents the truth, i'll tell them that i'm in love with you and that i want to be with u. and if necessary i'll go live with you too. i know we are too young to have a life together but let me dream. dream like i do while i'm in school, i know i shouldn't daydream cuz u day school is more important that you but bay what can i do? ur in my mind all the time, day and night, raining or snowing no matter how the weather is i'll always be thnking of you and wanting to be wit u cuz your my baby, my sweet baby. |
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| © Copyright 2003 angel eyez - All Rights Reserved | |||
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magic_612 Member
since 2003-07-31
Posts 190NB, Canada |
hey welcome to the site! This poem was a good one to start out with, made me smile. Hope to hear more from you |
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Maddy vanD Member
since 2003-09-06
Posts 99Newfoundland, Canada |
I liked this one, such a wonderfully clear expression of the overwhelming nature of a new love. I especially liked this bit: "but let me dream. dream like i do while i'm in school"...damn that is evocative!! One suggestion....proof read your poems a bit...typos distract from the poem (sorry...I'm an English major, and all my friends are always getting mad at me cause I am always editing their stuff whether they want it or not...I can't help it) Maddy |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions! Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen? |
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