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Teen Poetry #6

Unique, Poseur, Has-been

Paragon
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 114

0 posted 2003-09-03 04:22 PM

Between the walls you've built up you confuse
smoke and mirrors creating illusions of grandeur
and now you've become what you never wanted

Shadows creeping up behind you as the hourglass sifts
as the light sweeps the room, the attention shifts
from you to another and you've become what you never wanted

Cold and Alone you stumble in your room of mirrors
clutching your chest as you choke on the smoke you created
The unique turned poseur and became a has-been

and now you can't seperate yourself from all that you've become....

teenpoet
Member

since 2001-10-17

Posts 280
Michigan

1 posted 2003-09-05 09:21 AM

I love this!! It's really good and descriptive and I just really like this poem. Great write.

I am the one, the only, Blue~Phoenix. That is who I am now and forever shall be from this point forward.

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

2 posted 2003-09-06 08:36 PM

Paragon-

Wow, it's been a while since I've been around, but you've certainly been doing a lot of thoughtful work. Your style is developing nicely (I read through some of your older posts

)and your word choices are very fitting for your chosen works. It's becoming very dramatic.

Loved the last line. It was almost expected, but you delivered it in such a way, it surprised me.

Looking forward to more!

-Leah

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

3 posted 2003-09-06 09:04 PM

I know someone so similar.

Nicely done. People so easily lose sight of who they are, and become something so ugly.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

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