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devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

0 posted 2002-10-17 07:14 PM

Flowers
Your bitter words rip my heart apart
As I slowly wither into nothingness
Your cruel intentions tear me apart
When will I grow back again?

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

1 posted 2002-10-17 07:17 PM

i did like what you had to say here, but i just thought that the term 'cruel intentions' is way too cliched and overused.

perhaps you could change it around a bit. pull out a thesaurus and peruse its pages.

just a thought.

thanks for sharing.

/jen/

at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin.

and then i read it.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2002-10-17 07:20 PM

I liked the idea of you being a flower. Very well written poem. I loved it.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member

since 2002-07-02

Posts 439
I am everywhere

3 posted 2002-10-17 07:24 PM

oooooo....
Do I sense invisible rage!?
This isn't "gay", as you said it way, Allison, I like it.
Keep writing!!!

(lol That's my buddy)

dream me victory...

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

4 posted 2002-10-17 08:10 PM

i don't understand why people use the word gay as a derogatory and negative term. it's just as bad as making a racial slur.

even though many people use it that way, it doesn't make it acceptable in the least.

back in the fifties people thought segregated washrooms were ok, because they were everywhere.

get a grip people, and stop being so prejudiced.

stop spreading the hatred.

/jen/

at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin.

and then i read it.

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

5 posted 2002-10-17 08:38 PM

UHHHHHHH HELLO! Did anyone read my poem hate????? IT is all about that!

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

6 posted 2002-10-17 11:43 PM

what are you talking about?

i can't understand what you're trying to say.

/jen/

at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin.

and then i read it.

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

7 posted 2002-10-19 08:01 PM

I wrote a poem called "hate" just a short while ago and it was all about discriminating against people. That is what I was saying.....

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

8 posted 2002-10-27 08:03 PM

Wow sis i really like it! In all i have read you give a lot of info! Keep it up! FRom your sis Chrissy!

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