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*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

0 posted 2003-08-25 01:53 AM

Just a rant

How dark the deepest ocean
how deep the darkest me?
you cast out to find the answers
In the shadows were I am free

Don't bug me in my solitude
alone in my world wrought of pain
my heart is a frozen crystal shard
be gone from here, you've nothing to gain

I am content within my darkened wells
of laughter ceased thought
my ice barrakades firmly in place
you will not find the warmth you sought

Do not tempt me with emotion
for you will recieve nothing in return
that path has long since been taken,
my lessons have been learned

Here in my shadowed living pools
I seek reprieve from reality
from the bright happy facade its coated in
block out the sun I am free

My murky ocean's tide dwelling
is no place for a creature like you to be
the questions you sought have been answered
leave now, ask nothing further of me

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

poetik_punk
New Member

since 2003-05-30

Posts 8

1 posted 2003-08-25 03:18 PM

hmm I must say that I like the way this one flowed and some of the words and terminology you used

Halcyon
Junior Member

since 2003-04-10

Posts 43
Arizona, USA

2 posted 2003-08-25 06:29 PM

Yeah, there are those times we just want to be alone. Those moments I know of all too well. There's these people who always what's wrong when there's no problem at all, at least none that you want to talk about. The facade you might be playing might bring satisfaction to some but in all, it's covering up your true feelings, donning the mask of superficiality. But even after all this, now you know that they care.

Anyways, nice word choice and use of metaphor! *adds to his library*

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

3 posted 2003-08-26 03:08 AM

Thank you both for your kind replies and your tid bits of thought. As always they are much appreaciated!
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

Rise of Truth
Member

since 2003-07-12

Posts 59
Beneath the Fury Sun

4 posted 2003-08-28 09:39 PM

You sound like you're from Washington.

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

5 posted 2003-08-29 02:50 AM

Thanks?
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

Song_for_Serenity
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 97
USA

6 posted 2003-08-29 03:06 AM

Very good, but very... leave-me-alone-ish. I guess that's what you were trying to express anyways. Anyhoo, have a spiffy day!

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

Maddy vanD
Member

since 2003-09-06

Posts 99
Newfoundland, Canada

7 posted 2003-09-09 09:03 AM

This is a really good piece, expresses that "I vant to be ahlone" feeling oh so well. um..one thing...er...shouldn't "barrakades" be "barricades"

Oh yea, and the line "Don't bug me in my solitude"..."bug me" seems to stand out from the rest of the phrases in the poem, too everyday, perhaps something like "Don't come to me..."....just an idea

Maddy
Poetry is not pretty....poetry is real

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

8 posted 2003-09-10 01:22 PM

Excellent poem! I really love this one.
Especially the 4th stanza. You got the emotion across well and it flowed nicely.
Well done. Putting this one in my library.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

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