Teen Poetry #6 |
Always been here |
Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
The wind whistles in my ears, weighing on top of everything. I scream into the sound, perhaps a plea, a begging on my hands and knees. I don't care if this is wrong, to open up and show you my blood, swirling in colors other then red. Just step back and think. I'm sorry that I've become nothing to you. Nothing but a girl. I see myself there, back there between the trees. Towering black statues. that you built around me. A bruise you left, with the pressure of your breath. I'm not sure why I cry, Emotional nausea. I vomit out my fears at your feet. But you just look with laughing eyes. So I fold it all away. The fabric is a faded pink thin and fragile. I'm at my knees again unable to rise up. Muddied skin. So dirty it's hard to know if I'm human. I've come to know its here. There are no endings. Just scraps of metal pretending to be mirrors. I don't know where I'm comming from... Because I've always been here. [This message has been edited by Lexy (08-26-2003 02:14 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Alexis Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
yankees01rugby Junior Member
since 2003-08-13
Posts 48USA |
this is a really good poem. i will be looking for more of your work. *It's hard to tell your mind to stop lovin someone when your heart still does* |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
made me step back and think, great write lexy "There never was a genius without a tincture of madness." |
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magic_612 Member
since 2003-07-31
Posts 190NB, Canada |
I really liked this one, especially the line "A bruise you left, with the pressure of your breath." great job |
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SenSitiveSaLLy New Member
since 2003-08-24
Posts 5in an alternate universe |
i found that i related most with these lines.."I'm sorry that I've become nothing to you. Nothing but a girl."... i love it!! wish there was something i could say or do, i can resist anything but temptation from you.. but i'd rather fall myself than let you drag me down. |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
wow... I know I haven't read a lot of your work, but maybe now I know what I've been missing. this poem truly impressed me. The the visualizations you built around your character, upon her, and within her were incredible. This was a joy heartbreaking joy to read. excellent job. you missed nothing. Jeremy Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love. |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
Like Jeremy, I read your work a lot and at times tend not to reply...for some unknown reason. Out of them all, I think this piece is your best yet. I love all everything about this poem, great work! I can't wait to read more! ~Jess "At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato |
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collarbone_girl Junior Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 45Wonderland |
miiiiiinted! this was awesome lexy! you've totally found your voice in my abscence! yay for you! This Cool Night Air Is Curious... |
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Toasty Member
since 2003-06-09
Posts 74my little hole in wisconsin |
Whoa... this almost made me cry. This is definitely going into my personal library. :0) keep up the excellent work. ~toasty "Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength." -Francis de Sales. |
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Jaime
Registered
MemberPosts 250 |
There were so many parts of it that were amazing, which of course contributed to the whole, but this was my favourite part: "I've come to know its here. There are no endings. Just scraps of metal pretending to be mirrors. I don't know where I'm comming from... Because I've always been here." Really good way to end it... jupiter. the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Wow... I'm REALLY impressed by this. Don't quite know if I can do it justice with a comment... Loved it. Beautifully written. ~Kay Just wanna be funny,looks like the joke's on me. |
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Manth88 Junior Member
since 2003-06-15
Posts 45IL, USA |
Hey Lexy, i luv the poem. Great write, keep it up. !^*Manth88*^! |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
I have always loved your work and this is..as everyone else put it, amazing. Perfect. There wasn't a single word out of place. I would have to say my favorite line is, "Perhaps a plea, a begging on my hands and knees." I love this one, and it's going in my library. WinterWren |
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