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Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-10-17 08:15 AM

screams of loathing terror
fallen down by bullets
like a feather floating through blood
trapped in this relentless world
alone
scared yes in fact it is true
but a hand helps every once and a while
to reassure that everything is ok
for once
it doesn't last long
falling again and again
tumbling over truth and fantasy
tripping over lies and deciet
care
sure
thats what i thought
why should feelings be mauled
by a water glistened eye
creviced inbetween needs
wanting craving
all senses fallen off
of a worthyless body
this is not love
and you don't care
* just a spur of the moment thing..... *

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-10-17 12:19 PM

Wonderful writing, Riley... I love the flow of this one, the way the title relates to it (probably my favourite title of yours), and namely your choice of the word "worthyless."

"Worthyless." I love the connotations of it... it is so much more personalized and individual than "worthless."

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

2 posted 2002-10-17 01:10 PM

AWWWWW!!! Thankies Brian!! LOL! Me and my exclamation points huh!!!!!

Riley

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2002-10-17 06:24 PM

I really liked this one Riley. The ending especially.
Very nice indeed.

quiero mas.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Jester
Junior Member

since 2002-08-13

Posts 41
The dark corners of your mind

4 posted 2002-10-17 11:27 PM

I really liked this... it reminded me of past rlationships for some reason. Especially these lines

it doesn't last long
falling again and again
tumbling over truth and fantasy
tripping over lies and deciet
care
sure
thats what i thought

Falling in love so quickly and then finding out the truth and mocking the caring that the person said they felt. I liked this alot...Thanx for the read

I am your God, will you kill me now or shall I be continually suicidal?

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

5 posted 2002-10-17 11:50 PM

i happened to notice that well over one third of your posts are originating.

maybe you should reply a little more.

/jen/

at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin.

and then i read it.

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

6 posted 2002-10-18 09:48 PM

Thanks everybody!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!, and I do reply a lot thanks!

Ri

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

7 posted 2002-10-19 01:21 AM

not really.

but each to their own, i guess.

/jen/

at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin.

and then i read it.

lonewolf1
New Member

since 2002-10-16

Posts 9

8 posted 2002-10-19 02:51 PM

Good poem, I enjoyed it. Thanks for your response to my poem, and thank you for welcoming me.
lone wolf

EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

9 posted 2002-10-19 04:43 PM

This had a lot of interesting imagery in it, especially the line about a feather floating in blood. This is definitely one of your better poems! Thanks for the write hun, and thanks for replying to my stuff!
Ellie

"Last night, I had a dream that I went to the doctors, and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd spent thirty minutes in the [edited by moderator] waiting room"- S

[This message has been edited by quietlydying (10-20-2002 07:34 PM).]

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

10 posted 2002-10-19 04:46 PM

.....WOW..... Loved this!

YOUR INSULTS AND YOUR CURSES MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM NOT A PERSON ~Staind~

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

11 posted 2002-10-19 04:54 PM

Thanks to everyone for replying!!!!!!!

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

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