Untitled ( For now! ) - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #6

Untitled ( For now! )

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

0 posted 2003-08-06 10:56 PM

*I haven't figured out a title for this poem yet, so any help would be great! It's a bit short, but I was thinkin' about adding a little bit more between the 3rd and 4th lines! Tell me what ya think...! Thanks!*

Letting it all go,
I rest upon the valley field,
Thoughts of you creep into my peace,
Distaining certain sorrow,
Abruptly, dark clouds roll over the mountains,
Rain surrounds every inch of me,
Chasing away every last memory,
I run...
I run away to shelter,
For now, I am protected,
Safe from unceasing harm to my stable piece of mind.

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

Song_for_Serenity
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 97
USA

1 posted 2003-08-07 01:52 AM

Great piece! I really like the metaphors you adopted into it. Keep up the great work! Have a spiffy day!
Sealed with a

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

Snowflake From Hell
Senior Member

since 2003-07-10

Posts 777
My own little Icey Oblivion

2 posted 2003-08-07 11:35 AM

i agree with her this was great

I feel rain pouring down. I wait to rot away,
Live again, here forever, the spiral never ends. Godsmack

collarbone_girl
Junior Member

since 2003-07-14

Posts 45
Wonderland

3 posted 2003-08-07 03:03 PM

i dont think you need more, this was great!

This Cool Night Air Is Curious...

barbaraj
Member

since 2003-01-24

Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada

4 posted 2003-08-07 06:43 PM

this poem was great i don't think you need to add to it. sorry i can't think of a title.

~bjw~

~To see the world in a grain of sand
And heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.--> Blake~

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.