navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » 12 black roses
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic 12 black roses Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
collarbone_girl
Junior Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 45
Wonderland

0 posted 2003-08-05 07:26 PM



A girl walks down the street at night
Hair soft as morning rain
And eyes that could melt the
Cold glass souls of strangers

Under the constellations she studies
Her feet wander thru passages of poetry and time
Her heart shot down at 7 pm that evening
By a boy who played guitar

Mourning the loss of heart and light
She passes under the walkway
And hears the sound of footsteps
Echoing her shadow

Her name is called out in a hushed whisper
She cannot hear the call for life
That screams so loud around her
So she carries on to her eternity

Her beautiful eyes, big and green
Enlarged by the diamond tears that fall so freely
Coating her face in salt, making it shine soft in the night
Her stalker in awe of her beauty

Neither can move.

He stands,
Humbled by his acts, and for the first time in his life
Truly sorry and bent on forgiveness
He never should have turned her away
Never should have shunned her into the night time sky alone
Never should had trod so heavily on this girls paper heart
That she had so willingly offered him
Along with the rest of her life

She stands
Pensive and deep, for the first time in her life
Fully aware of the emptiness that the world holds without love
Truly sorry and bent on forgiveness
She never should have tried to make him love her
She never should have tried to make an impression on this world
Someone so small, so worthless, with such a flimsy heart
That she had so willingly offered him
Along with the rest of her life

So climbs the last step
Her heart so heavy in blood and tears

He climbs silently behind her
Still whispering her name

She closes her dead eyes
And holds out her hands

He tiptoes up behind her
Tries to put his hands on her waist

She turns round
He sees the black pools of her un-lit eyes
The way her mouth lapses to the side
And the sheer nothing of this person he loved, loves….

She turns around
Sees the sorrow in her lovers eyes
The way his smile suddenly falls
And realises it’s too late

She makes no noise,
He makes no cry

Simply kisses her on the cheek

And waves good-bye to his angel

As she tumbles with her beauty

Falling skywards,

Into forever

And he throws

His bunch of

12 black roses

And a small, white box

Into the dark behind her.

This Cool Night Air Is Curious...

© Copyright 2003 Bee - All Rights Reserved
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
1 posted 2003-08-05 08:09 PM


speechless. You painted the most vivid picture I have ever seen through the eyes of poetry. thank you. I'm all warm inside.

CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248

2 posted 2003-08-05 10:01 PM


Beautiful, lexy said it all,you captured such images...amazing
*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
3 posted 2003-08-06 12:27 PM


oh wow, I'm like on the brink of tears. This was such a moving piece. A little macob but still so...deep and...hauntingly beautiful..
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

Deep_Inside
Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377
i can't stop hiding
4 posted 2003-08-06 02:56 AM


this is truly a grate poem i found myself leaning to the edge of my chair and closer to the screen. just grate congratulations on the piece. keep writing

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
5 posted 2003-08-06 10:09 PM


It's so sad..and so beautiful.
I can find no flaw with this poem.
This just might be the best one I've read on this site.
Beautiful, excellent job.
Im deeply moved. Thank you for sharing.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
6 posted 2003-08-07 12:57 PM


Wow. You painted this absolutely perfectly. The descriptions are vivid, and I felt like I was actually there, watching this play out. Great job

It's hard to grow up and watch your friends remain in the same mindset that you left them in

Song_for_Serenity
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97
USA
7 posted 2003-08-07 02:03 AM


Absolutely marvelous! Haven't read any poems from you on here yet. Do you have a TOD... are you a member of Beauty Lexis? Your user name looks really fimiliar. Anyhoo, I look forward to more poems from you. This one's going in my library! Have a spiffy day!
Sealed with a

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

collarbone_girl
Junior Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 45
Wonderland
8 posted 2003-08-07 07:29 AM


what's TOD? and what's Beauty Lexis? i'm in the dark...

This Cool Night Air Is Curious...

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
9 posted 2003-08-07 10:03 AM


Very good, interesting read...I really liked it.

Susan C.

SilentTears
Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371
Lost and Broken
10 posted 2003-08-15 10:26 PM


I'm speechless...and I'll have to agree with Lexy...I've never read a poem with such beautiful and perfect imagery. This poem is beyond beautiful. I don't think there are any flaws within this work of art, either. Definitely going in my library. Quite a perfect poem you have here.

"I would sleep forever, if it meant I'd never stop dreaming..."

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
11 posted 2003-08-17 04:07 AM


*Smiles* i agree with everyone else, damn good piece.

-bergundy-

no one can make you feel inferior, unless you let them.--eleanor roosevelt

T-Bird
Junior Member
since 2003-07-02
Posts 17
Washington, United States
12 posted 2003-08-19 04:36 PM


Oh dang... this was one of the best i have ever read.
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
13 posted 2003-08-19 08:49 PM


This was truely amazing...I love this! This was shouting with beauty! It is SO going in my library! AWESOME AWESOME write!!!!

"Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe"~Maroon 5~

[This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (08-19-2003 08:51 PM).]

sixington
Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 53
Utah
14 posted 2003-08-23 02:33 PM


Wow. The whole thing is so symbolic and i loved your imagery. You are an amazing writer. I loved this line : Her feet wander thru passages of poetry and time
It made me shiver, this poem was one of the best I've ever read. It's going in my library. Keep writing, i loved it!~ Amanda

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
15 posted 2003-08-23 02:58 PM


this is an incredible poem, i absoluty loved it...awesome job


riley

* the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes *

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

16 posted 2003-08-23 03:06 PM


I agree with evrything said. this is a wonderful poem. LIBRARY! It goes there! I never come in here but I was going to follow riley and nag her. changed my mind, now I'm going to go eat a taco.

insanity is not a crime

Krystin18
Junior Member
since 2003-01-19
Posts 20
Ontario, Canada
17 posted 2003-08-24 12:43 PM


saw it on another site
OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

18 posted 2003-08-24 12:47 PM


wow... its funny how you can have glazed eyes from reading that before it even entirely registers in your mind. anything that gives me tears before i even comprehend it is completely talent. amazing
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » 12 black roses

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary