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collarbone_girl
Junior Member

since 2003-07-14

Posts 45
Wonderland

0 posted 2003-08-04 06:17 PM

words words words words words

words words words words words

take a minute to do

but a life time to forget

especially when they're from you

and you dont know how deep they land

(maybe...)

and you don't know that i'll never let go

i just wish you'd said goodbye.

on my departure i want a story read
a story about the world
and a little girl
who wore flowers in her hair
and daisies round her wrists

i want you to read it.

This Cool Night Air Is Curious...

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

1 posted 2003-08-04 06:44 PM

I liked this one all your poetry is deep and meaningful, wish I could write like that. But anyways great write

-ash

I wear my crown of thorns
on my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

[This message has been edited by Match (08-04-2003 06:45 PM).]

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

2 posted 2003-08-04 07:38 PM

Didn't like this one as much as others but still vastly enjoyed this piece. I love the simple meaning behind it, you just want your story to be known to the one you love, such an easy simple want yet it has a profound impact, nicely done.
~Live and Luagh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

3 posted 2003-08-04 07:42 PM

awww..there was a light hopeful feel to this. Your others are hard and callased feeling. Where this is just about a sad little girl. I could relate. I love your poetry.
~Lex

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

4 posted 2003-08-04 07:45 PM

the rest of you poetry downplays this one, but still a good pice in it's own

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

5 posted 2003-08-05 02:14 AM

The last stanza and the last line are my favourite part. I really like them. They seem to carry the most...

jaime.

the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots

Rise of Truth
Member

since 2003-07-12

Posts 59
Beneath the Fury Sun

6 posted 2003-08-09 03:09 PM

"I want you to read it"

There was a subtle power here...

Listen deep, ye product of fleshs sinned! Forget mystery! For i am a thing deeper still.

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

7 posted 2003-08-09 04:05 PM

I really liked this one, so simple and truthful, nice work

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

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