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collarbone_girl
Junior Member

since 2003-07-14

Posts 45
Wonderland

0 posted 2003-08-02 12:25 PM

as i curl up

a little girl
in a BIG girl bed

i twirl my fingers through my hair
and dream....
you're out with your friends

talking about last weeks festivities

not giving a second
third
fourth thought to be....

and i think

think about being held up in your arms till sunrise

think about

K I C K I N G

off the covers as we try to sleep
in these 100 degree temperatures

everytime i hear your voice
playing oh so softly in my head

i want to sing
play
dance
write
Just For

You.

This Cool Night Air Is Curious...

rose
Member

since 2003-08-02

Posts 53

1 posted 2003-08-02 12:52 PM

I like this poem because it is simply written with a clear message but also contains subtle complexities.

jaysh
Member

since 2003-04-16

Posts 133
IL, USA

2 posted 2003-08-02 12:55 PM

Yeah, I really enjoyed this poem also, good job, and I cant wait to read more of your work.

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

3 posted 2003-08-02 05:13 PM

Good work! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

4 posted 2003-08-03 08:51 PM

good write.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

5 posted 2003-08-04 04:55 PM

it made me smile.
~Lex

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

6 posted 2003-08-04 07:35 PM

Lovely imagery in this one. I got a small little kick out of the Big girl bet line, as I have often known that type of feeling/thought I'm not sure what you call it but I can relate well. Once again I like the spacing of the lines and the caps. on certain letters to bring across a point. Once again, flawlessly presented
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

7 posted 2003-08-04 07:42 PM

as with others interesting pice keep writing

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

Star T
Member

since 2002-07-12

Posts 182
Philadelphia, US

8 posted 2003-08-05 12:04 PM

Now this is beautiful.i loved this poem.i relate to it perfectly and isnt that what we all want when we write poetry?so good job!

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