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luckyme9293
Junior Member

since 2003-07-01

Posts 24
tx

0 posted 2003-07-02 12:11 PM

Please god watch over me tonight
I just want to be able to sleep threw the night
Is that so much to ask?
Or is the blood and pain just a mask?
I just want to be able to sleep
With dreams that I can keep
Not dreams of blood and gore
Or thoughts that my sprit will one day sore
All I ask 4 is sleep
And a night without a slow muffled weep
I want sharp objects not to be feared
Or people to look at my arms weird
Actually I pray for something new
Something that only you can do
Let me sleep safely threw the night
And awake in the morning all right
Let me friends and family rest
And let them know that u and I are trying are best
Sometimes problems take a little time to heal
But one day everything will be ideal
I pray for that day that I can,
Sleep threw the night

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2003-08-01 08:46 PM

threw should probably be through. Don't do the u (you), 4 (four) thing are should be our. These things though little distract from your poetry. I liked the message behind this. I wish I could sleep through the night as well. That way I wouldn't have to sleep through the day. Good job.
~Lex

[This message has been edited by Lexy (08-01-2003 08:47 PM).]

rose
Member

since 2003-08-02

Posts 53

2 posted 2003-08-02 11:24 AM

yeah, i agree with lexy about the spelling...but thats all i have to say...

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

3 posted 2003-08-03 08:46 PM

very nice write.

infinite disaster
Member

since 2003-06-01

Posts 69
Illinois

4 posted 2003-08-04 12:39 PM

i like a lot.

much love, akie.

I am proof that the heart is a risky fuel to burn.

Star T
Member

since 2002-07-12

Posts 182
Philadelphia, US

5 posted 2003-08-05 11:59 AM

i would have said a little about your spellings but all those before me have done just that.i really liked your poem and i hope and pray with you that the Lord will indeed give you sleep,rest and peace.

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