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Teen Poetry #6

cant think of a title...

~*BayBee*~
Member

since 2003-04-09

Posts 65
In The Clouds...

0 posted 2003-08-01 11:05 PM

I have writers block right now but i tried,.. tell me the truth of what you think...
----------------------------------------------------

Im finally happy because i am over you.
I am finally forgetting all the bad things you used to do.
Im glad i dont have to put up with your lies,
because everything you did, juss made me want to cry.
I have moved on and found someone new,
I'm just glad he isn't anything like you...

jaysh
Member

since 2003-04-16

Posts 133
IL, USA

1 posted 2003-08-02 12:49 PM

Overall I think it was good, except the second line is a little streched or something, it confused me, but over all goodjob!~

rose
Member

since 2003-08-02

Posts 53

2 posted 2003-08-03 08:57 AM

good poem...but at times it seemed more like prose than poetry (not necessarily a bad thing! i certainly do it all the time myself!). and in parts it was a little jerky (line 2 especially). overall good work.

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

3 posted 2003-08-03 09:17 PM

if she ever told me that.....oh my god, i swear...the thing i'd....
*hatred grits his teeth and submits.*

~*BayBee*~
Member

since 2003-04-09

Posts 65
In The Clouds...

4 posted 2003-08-04 12:42 PM

Well im glad that some people like mah poem but mah X boyfriend who i was talkin about hurt me really bad and im just finally happy that i found a nice guy (which is hard to find) and ima juss say it, im GLAD that he aint anything like mah X
~*BayBee*~

Fariegirl
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 147

5 posted 2003-08-04 01:55 PM

Hey girl, sorry bout chur guy, good poem

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